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About

Name: Jiahui
Age: 22
School: auditor in training ntu acc njc st nicks peiying pri
Often known as: Queen

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The Queen Speaks

A place to ramble
A place to complain
A place for laughter
A place for tears
A place where the true me appears




History


06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003
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Credits


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Thursday, October 30, 2003

omg, its yet another day of mugging.......
*sigh* gettin v sick already.
prob shall change a place,
yea maybe gettin outa the house will help,
i hope.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

mug mug mug


Queen Tona @ 11:41 AM
0 comments
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Tuesday, October 28, 2003

all rite peeps, million dollar question.....
to go or NOT TO GO to sch tml.......

sigh. totally sianz diaoz. my mind and body and everything is askin me to stay at home coz going for two hours of gp tml is seriously wasting my life and time la.
but, but, but, if i dun go i tink hanwei will murder me coz she sae i muz go today......
coz i have sum stuff with her.... @!#!%$@%!%

to go or not to go.......


Queen Tona @ 10:58 PM 0 comments
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Monday, October 27, 2003

yawnz. aniwaz today went to get my skirt.
saw sumthing that bothers me.
saw my fren with yet another gal,
i mean i got quite disgusted. he changes gals like he changes clothes literally,
and to tink several mths ago he was still tellin me oh how shy he is towards gals
i mean hello? den wat is this that i see b4 me? if its the same gal, i got nothing to sae.
but u sae u are shy and there u are, everytime i see u its sumone new.
totally disgusted, din even bother to sae a hi.

sumtimes, its such things that realli makes me tink twice abt relationships.
not that i am not now....
how long do they literally last man.
even marriages..... how long do they last?
everytime i see my cousin, i cant help but tink prob i sld remain single all my life man.
i mean, he and his wife, or rather EX-wife... they have been together 4 so long lor, since poly......
and he is like 30 plus now, but yet, less den one yr of marriage and its over.
i mean, is that wat relationships are abt?
we get together, we share happy memories, den not happy den we leave with no hard feelings. enuff said.
kinda sianz diaoz. if its so tough to manage a relationship, y sld i even bother trying.

aniwaz, i receive a msg from sumone, sumone surprising.
i mean, i neva expected a msg from him, yes we were v close once, but its been so long since i heard from him... duno wat to sae. i din reply it aniwaz.
juz treat it as i changed my hp no. BAH.

relationships are such bothers.


Queen Tona @ 10:24 PM 0 comments
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Saturday, October 25, 2003

yippe went shopping!
haha was quite fun la, wenta tried out sum clothes etc...
din realli noe wat to choose...
den spotted this yen black skirt.but quite ex, 90 bucks.
tried it on but was too big wanted a smaller size but the person said
s was the smallest.....
so no choice had to ask the person to alter for me......
quite pathetic.
k la, spent quite a lot but well, i dun care spending money makes me happy! =P
whaha if i continue this wae, no man will dare to marry me le....... AHHHHHHH


Queen Tona @ 10:24 PM 0 comments
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Friday, October 24, 2003


*sigh*
i miss doing warm-up with all of u........
SAD


Queen Tona @ 10:34 PM 0 comments
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kae, finally the drilling has stopped! yippe and great, i dun feel like muggin animore.
wONderFUlllllll........... *sianz*

lala, had a weird dream yesterday.....
sumhow, i alwaz dream ard the same thing.....
whaha, if i used back zr's wallet analogy.....
i can only sae that everything seems to be telling me that i have sumhow,
sub-consciously found a new wallet. [how true i duno....]
but well, y aren;t i buying it? becoz, its those kinda wallet where they sae
"for display only. not for sale"
its those kinda wallet which i noe there is no pt yearning for la.coz i cant have it.
so heck, aniwaz, dreams dun sae/mean much too....
for now? prob juz dun carry any wallet bah.


Queen Tona @ 10:01 PM 0 comments
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yawnz. mug a bit today. din go out in the end coz the weather is horrible and me wan to return bks aso den today lib aso not open... so shopping is postponed to tml!!

aniwaz, sorta finish physics le... did sum mcq and paper 2. din do much paper 3 coz there is quite a huge gap at the back for me to catch up on that. thot mcqs were quite ok, but paper 2 sum quite hard...
aniwaz, today to sunday is for maths.... cant afford to spend too much time on this.... 3/4 thru my pure maths le, heck la, juz read thru and practice a few papers...
left 2 weeks for the 2 content subjs lor. hope that is enuff, besides i suck at chem la. totally disgusting subj! and i dun quite have fabulous tutors too...... ARGH! and i dun feel like going to sch animore nex week but han wei says she has sum stuff to pass to me!!! $!@%@#%@*( shall see how......

and the reason y i am bloggin now is becoz i am going crazy with all the drilling that is happening!! i thot i can finish "revisin" maths today!!!! but the drilling is horrible!!!! every time i finsh one pg it starts to drill!!!! ARGH!!!! thats it, if this continues tml, i will make sure i get outa my house to mug everyday!!! ARGH! stupid! aniwaz, saw this simple black skirt in a mag, its at metro. prob will go check it out, well, i mean, quite sianz to go all the way to town to get clothes..... and well, i aso dun wanna any special stuff, so juz get that skirt first la, top can wait. top muz at least be a bit special rite? whahah prob get the top after As..... but well muz at least get sumthing first becoz i feel so insecure!! everyone ard me seeems to have gotten ready their prom stuff and here i am, with nothing at all.... =\ hai.

for goodnez SAKE! STOP DRILLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
laterz


Queen Tona @ 4:22 PM 0 comments
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Thursday, October 23, 2003

feelin stresseD?pissed?depressed?
aiya no matter wat this is cute!!!!

http://www.qnet.com/~pontius/smile/smilelmp_1%5B1%5D.htm

hope it made u smile~


Queen Tona @ 10:33 PM 0 comments
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hm time for a break from books.
feeling not that great this week. feeling v sianz.
probably going to shop tml.
at least that makes me happy.
den can shun bian shop for prom clothes too.
dun noe wat to wear.... whahha see wateva suits my eyes la.
but i guess no more white for me man. prob black. simple and nice~


Queen Tona @ 10:26 PM 0 comments
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aniwaz, most of the stuff in this entry was supposed to be up last nite,
but my com died on me, my net died on me, so i cant blog!!! =|

yest was indeed an "interestin" day.

k let's start with yz's bday.... when guangyi and i was walkin to gp, he was telling me when i see his bday card i will sure faint. so i was tinkin along the lines of u noe, flamboyant colours, lame stuff etc. but when he passed me the card, i literally fainted lor and i went omg so loud near the corridor..... i mean, realli... duno wanna lauff or cry!!!! k, the cover was one married couple la..... and totally aiyarz!!!! OMG!!! ARGH!!! felt quite stupid.... i mean, a bit farni rite.... nvm....

den another stupid thing. today at the parade sq, announcement was that today was farewell assembly. wonderful rite, u come to sch den sumhow the sch decides that today is the perfect day for farewell assembly so decided to hold it today. *Faint* so i thot, wow, prob will be quite sad la, i mean oh well, it is realli sorta the last assembly, was expecting sumthing at least a bit touching.... went to the hall, wat greeted us was " analysis of JC2 prelims results" i mean, hello?!?!? is that all that is left to talk abt after 2 yrs in njc? prelims results? is that all that is worth mentinoing abt after spendin 2 yrs here? results! wonderful, and that stupid woman actually said that we sld sleep b4 12 but wake up at 4am to study. wat is this?!?!?! MADNESS! does she tinks our entire life revolves ard books and nothing else? i was so disgusted, when all she talked abt was results and performing well in the As. i mean, the assembly din even made me feel sad abt the fact that i was leaving, instead, i wished i can graduated at that every moment lor. argh, the mere mention of her made me sick. sick of the sch, the system, everything!!!! was seriously GLAD to see her limping with an injured ankle, prob gave way coz cant suppoprt her weight lor. i mean, wat do u get when u eat western food daily? excess wt! duh! argh, irritated!!!!

today yr 1's was doing proj work. so when we went to TA22 for maths, they were using the clzrm coz they thot it was empty mahz. i saw her again. i mean, seriously, i only noe one thing abt her, not her name, but juz sumthing that concerns her and me.besides that i noe nothing but i juz remembers her face, and everytime i see her, i feel irritated, i juz feel bu shuang. i mean, i dun understand how u can detest sumone when u dun even know her, but the only thing i noe abt her is enuff, enuff to make me feel unhappy, feel uneasy, feel like literally having a cat fight rite there. sumhow, i sense her bu shuangnez towards me too. its either that or that she is juz born with that black face which juz goes blacker everytime i am ard. *shrugs* thank god sch is ending, becoz i cant gurantee i wun take a knife and stab her anytime.

aniwaz, din go sch today. obvious rite if not y i here! whahah, but woke up at 6 coz met up with zr to pass him sum stuff. its been too long that i last take mrt in the wee hrs of the morning and it felt weird la. its a familiar feeling lor, and yet its sumthing i have not done for v long le. hmmmmm... aniwaz, thanks arh zr! so kind of u!!! aniwaz, k back to doing some physics papers~ yippee!!! i love to mug


Queen Tona @ 9:55 AM 0 comments
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Tuesday, October 21, 2003

yawn yawn. today was physics prac.
quite ok overall, oh well at least its much betta den chem.... =)
so it was quite all rite, though weber wld have loved my seat coz me and fall-4-u shared a bench!

duno y today dun realli feel at eating. only ate breakfast and dinner.
and today sat on 852 wanted to puke. tink i too long neva take long distance bus rides le!
alamak. aniwaz, today holland v damn sweet!! becoz nuowen is back~~~~
aHHHHH!!! *sigh* though in the end that wan wan married that yang xiong..... but well.
at least now can see nuowen!!!! =) *grinz*
and i watched the 8pm show, they showed this place in malaysia.
omg damn nice, the beaches and all, so romantic!! cosine gals, maybe we sld consider that place after A's la. thailand is so sianz~~ there v nice~~~~~~ AHHHHHH!!!!

oh and i had a farni nitemare last nite.
i dreamt that i was havin physics prac den after 30mins i still cant connect the circuit.......
its sum maze thingy to connect until i find the lite bulb. wahha
so i raised my hand and guess who was the invigilator.... ms jeya... [whahah st nicks peeps sld noe]
aniwaz, its a v scary taecher la.
so she was v kind though, explain everything to me, even draw out the circuits, take out the diodes and teach me to place where etc.
den after discussing with her at the teacher's bench.[ ?!?!?!], i went back and tried to conect again. realise wat she said was not the same as what is on the paper, wanted to ask again but she was gone.
i tried tried a bit, den when i finally got sum reading, sum one SCREAMED times up and i almost jumped!
den b4 handin up, i flipped to see how much i have skipped den i realise i left 50marks blank!!
den i realsie at the back only have colouring and joining pts. and everyone was saying wah so ez, like kindergarden work.
whahah den i woke up......
k totally mad. at least my prac was not that disatrous, still quite good. *phew*

aniwaz, sch tml. i beta go gp coz i skipped all lessons last week. ms rattna! i am still on earth!! i have not gone to mars!!


Queen Tona @ 10:14 PM 0 comments
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Monday, October 20, 2003

yippe yippe in less den an hr my idols are gonna appear!!!
ah! westside story!!!!! ah!!!! *droolz* double droolz....

aniwaz, mug quite a bit today.. finishin physics soon....
juz short of a couple of chapters.... no choice la. this wk beta finish physics and maths,
gonna leave one wk each for chem and econs... need to mug quite a bit for that.
prac is on tml... *prays hard* hope everything will go on smoothly...
hope its at least beta den chem prac.

*sigh* cant wait for my tony to appear!!! omg!!!!
drools.... i wanna hug him to sleep!!!!
AH!!!!!
k shall try to contain my excitement!!!!
AH!!!!!!!!
=)


Queen Tona @ 10:14 PM 0 comments
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Sunday, October 19, 2003

hmmmm its sunday and i feel quite relaxed.
aniwaz, lets talk abt this irritatin incident first
coz mum neva cook so we went down coffee shop to makan
and me neva eat lunch so was starving!!
so juz when the food came, two idiots sittin nex to us startin smoking
i mean, u smoke fine la, but ur smoke can dun "fly" to my food and my nose?!?!
i was practically suffocatinG!!! totally spoil my appetite. felt like puking
i mean, i have everything against smokers and i dun give a damn
who tell them so no brain, spendin money to harm their bodies and harm me as well!
seriously, argh! my husband shld neva eva smoke nex time man.
if all the men left in the world smokes, i will remain single man, oh wait, i wld prob have suffocated from the smoke. ARGH, stupid smokers. addin on to air pollution

aniwaz, ys fone me on the hp. was quite shocked to hear from him. after so long..........
din talk much, he juz wished me all the bez for the As.
well, prac everyone that i see tells me the same thing.
but well, at least he bothered to call mah~! heex, thanks pal~

hai, have been muggin a bit. watch tv a bit saw 5566 and kept drooling~
heex, tml nite got the westside story~~@#!$#@!$! kewl! omg! AHHHHHH!
and this week that zhang shan wei coming to s'pore le!!!!!
omg..... i find him quite cute and farni! his songs? not that fabulous but he so hardworking!!
omg my idol!!!!! =( i want to go see him, but i scared i will be stamped to death...and sure no one wanna go with me!! BOO HOO HOO!!!!

aniwaz, really liked zr;s entry today. thot it sounded v nice! see i compliment u!!! beta thank me!! plus pay advertising fees to me!


Queen Tona @ 10:15 PM 0 comments
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Saturday, October 18, 2003

hmmm back from shopping!
heex. i din buy much!!!! oh well, most were not for me!
k here;s the best part.
coz yan zhi;s birthday on wed, den cosine gals supposed to buy one prezzie la.
apparently, its me who is in charge, coz well, he is my "hubby"

so i decided to buy the billabong wallet for him la.
my mood was wonderful, walked in the shop.
look look, den this salesgal started introducing all the stuff la.
i smiled, " its ok, i can take a look myself"
so continue lookin, she continue to stand there.
"oh this one new design. flowers suits u"
" i buying for a fren"
"oh fren? birthday prezzie?"
"yep" already quite irritated liaoz. cant i shop in PEACE.
"eh, how old is ur fren?"
"18" i mean i dun see how wallets can be associated with AGE!
"oh den u can consider these designs... blabber on........"
i was quite irritated. hurriedly picked on and checked the prize etc.
"so are u buying for your boyfrenz?"
seriously, that was the last straw.
i was totally pissed, glared at her, took the wallet and marched to the cashier.

whahah come to tink of it, that was totally attitude man.
but hello, stop mentioning the word boyfren in front of me la!
i noe ya, ppl alwaz buy wallets for bf, but there can be exceptions rite?
ARGH. if not for yan zhi;s prezzie i wld have juz dumped that wallet there and walked off!
pissed.
so salesgal, the nex time u see ppl who want to shop in peace,
pls by all means, leave them to shop in peace!



Queen Tona @ 10:12 PM 0 comments
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yo ppl!!!!
hehez, me is feeeling quite happy today~
yesterday's stuff heck la, already history.
i complain complain a bit, cry cry a bit, den go sleep
and tada~ today is another happy day!!!!

aniwaz, muz go shopping for yanzhi's wallet later......
prob going back causewae pt tonite with mum and bro~
hehez. its shopping time yet again! yippeeeeee!
k ppl, smile coz its yet another beautiful day!!!!


Queen Tona @ 12:48 PM 0 comments
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Friday, October 17, 2003

dear blog....

when will my tears stop flowing.....
when will my wound heal....

its yet another sleepless nite......


Queen Tona @ 11:41 PM 0 comments
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today was another slack day.
or rather, i made it one. i skipped gp yet again.
i see no pt in me sittin there and makin my presence when what i alwaz do is juz to totally switch off and wander off totally to yet another land....

went home with zr and yz.
took 961 to woodlands with zr
i was in a beautiful mood, so beautiful that i din even mind going causewae 4 lunch!
so wonderful that i din even mind mos burger....
crap a bit, felt quite happy, felt over the moon... shop a while, headed for the mrt.

i saw him.. with that fren.... i almost froze in my steps....
i cudden think straight.
the nex thing i knew, xr was hugging me.....
i felt a strong urge to cry. i saw so many of them..... him, bang, xr, zp.... it felt like old times.
it felt like times when we meet up juz for lunch....juz to go out....
i wanted to run into his arms, i want to tell him how much i want to be there, rite there....
i wanted to tell him that i din want anithing to change....
i wanted to do anithing, anithing to make him hug me, to tell me he still cared, to look me in the eyes and sae he still loved me....
i realli did.... my mind was a total blank.
all i knew was i wanted to be nex to him, rite there and then,
to tell him all that had happened these few yrs.... to tell him that i neva did forget, i neva did let go.
i neva stop believing...

i duno what came over me. when i was on the platform, i felt so painful...
i wanted to juz kneel down and cry...
deep inside, i felt as if i have taken a knife and stab at myself.....
yes indeed, i did. y have those thots run thru me rite? y torture myself?
wat happened to all those talks abt changing?
abt forgettin? abt being numb?

i realli miss him..... esp at such times.... i want him badly....
i am not strong at all.... no, i am not.
i am not that cheerful after all. no... i was hiding my tears.... when i smiled at u... i merely din want my tears to show.....
i neva wanted u to know i need u that bad....
i wanted u to tink that i can live life beautifully without you...
but in actual fact, nothing hurt more den you taking more and more steps away from me...
nothing hurts more den seeing you and her together.....
in actual fact, i need you badly.....
so bad, it hurts...

does it matter at all that i blog such rubbish?
if this is gonna change anithing, i wun mind bloggin, a hundred times, a thousand times, a million times.... till the end of time......


Queen Tona @ 10:15 PM 0 comments
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Thursday, October 16, 2003

yippe! whahah i feel that today's a wondeful day and this week is a fabulous week!!!
coz teachers are away on course! and my timetable is totally short! and and, i have started to pon like mad!

aniwaz, today was suppose to end lessons at 1.20 one. but mr yong said that he wanted to start physics at two instead. coz of two other ppl
everyone got pissed. coz we were free from 11pm le.
whahah, so here;s the bez part, whole clz decided to pon it together.
i mean, ok nothing special abt pon-ing lessons,
but seriously, he is one of the last few teachers that u will want to pon lessons!!!
becoz he is the cannnoeing teacher-in-charge and he believes that we muz have good attitude blah blah blah.
whahah, i can juz imagine him going on and on abt havin good attitude la,
havin the will and determination la etc.
i mean seriously, sometimes i juz get so pisssed i wanna go up to him and sae
i dun give a damn for all the attitude shit la.
pon a few lessons will die? dun do a few tutorial will fail?
sianz.
aniwaz, if i am going to pon gp tml again, i have skipped gp for the entire week
and seriously, i itnk i am going to do juz that.
coz i wanna get a haircut tml.
and seriously, realli CUT.
last time can only cut a bit becoz of dance,
now i wanan cut it short la.
SHORT.

aniwaz, tml going to skip econs lect and go sch later~~~
heex, i feel like a bad kid! i like it!


Queen Tona @ 9:58 PM 0 comments
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Wednesday, October 15, 2003

yawn skipped sch today.
y? duno. juz felt sick. physically and mentally.
chem prac yesterday was quite bad for me.
duno, prob wun do v well. cudden tink v well with the medicine also.
*sigh* on the brighter side, i still have 80marks to get and on a even brighter side, i may not even wanna include chemistry in my 3 subjs, so well no pt dwelling.

spent my day mugging~ hehez, no la, juz doing papers.
quite happy la, tink beta den 2hrs gp....
tml dun feel like going sch aso, but dun wanna get into the habit of keep pon-ing,
so go lor. but hanwei not going... sob sob!!!! whahah, but today she aso no me to pei her, so quits lor! =)
have fun at home gal~ def more fun den sch!

prob gonna get a haircut soon.
whahaha, wonderin wat shocks i have gotten this time rite?
well, for me to noe, for u to guess!

if cuttin my hair will erase sum bad memories,
prob shavin bald is a good idea for me.


Queen Tona @ 10:31 PM 0 comments
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Monday, October 13, 2003

hmmmm feelin much betta after the huge rest that i have got
whaha was my body on a strike? i duno.

aniwaz, tml prob marks the official start to the most dreaded A levels.
hope that nothing goes wrong during the prac and juz let me get thru with flying colours.
realli need that to pull up my chem grades.....
good luck to me!!!!!

time is runnin out
A's are coming.
and i guess, i shall seriously stop slackin and start mugging. for real.
heex. so jia you everyone! let's all get fabulous results~


Queen Tona @ 1:16 PM 0 comments
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Sunday, October 12, 2003

*sigh*
i haven been bloggin becoz i am SICK......
physically sick la. peeps.
=(

fri in sch was already sneezin non-stop. den they still on the fan so big....
sob sob. den reach home was even worse.
wanted to take cold med but no more at home....... spend the whole nite blowin my nose....
totally horrible feeling.....

sat woke up and felt so weak. no strength. feel like fainting....
went to see the doc. i had a slight fever, flu, sorethroat and a huge headache......
spent my entire sat practically sleepin and sleeping and sleeping...
felt a bit betta but dun feel like eatin..... [great, is this a new form of diet?]

today was a bit betta, mug a bit of practical.... and rest a bit more.....
but i still feel sick,....... SOB SOB. poor me. =(

*sigh*


Queen Tona @ 5:06 PM 0 comments
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Wednesday, October 08, 2003

hai. i was flipping thru the calendar juz now and i realise time is running out.
no, i dun mean A levels here. although that sld be wat i sld be most worried abt...
i mean time is running out in the sense that, my time with njc, my time with S05, my time with my classmates, with 38club, with the cosine gals are running out..... and its shockin to suddenly realise that i have spent close to two yrs of my life with them...

seriously, the thot of havin to leave them all makes me sad.
i mean, i alwaz thot we still had a lota time, i alwaz thot we may even stay like this 4eva~
sigh, welcome to reality.
i mean although i really dread coming to njc to study, but i made real nice frenz here~
and these will be the stuff that i will remember i guess.....

sigh. wonder
how many more times do we have, sitting at the canteen, drinkin bubble tea, eatin desserts and juz gosipping abt others.
how many more times do we have, muggin in the lib.....
how many more times do we have, to even sit in class and attend boring tutorials?
how many more times do we have, sittin and freezin in lectures.......
=(

prob shall take some time to write some stuff abt my frenz in njc.... my click sortA?
[ whaha i sound as if i am graduatin tml...... =P]

cosine gals....
hanwei: prob my closest fren in nj? come to tink of it, we seem to be 4eva together one, heex. i mean, i tink sch will be weird without her.. realli appreciate her help in all areas... and of coz, got to noe more nice peeps coz i helped her out at the dance thingy 4 the fotang. so well, i guess we are realli quite close. i noe i wun miss her that much, becoz we will still see each other one mah! heez, but i will miss the times when she will poke me when i fall asleep in class, miss the times when i will disturb her if i feel like sleeping... miss the times when we juz crap abt anithing under the sun.... guess she realli made sch a lesser chore for me... and i am glad that i made such a frenz, and knowin that she will be there for me when i need her.

weber [ whaha k zhiyue]: knew her even b4 we were in S05.... thru huishi. i mean, i was sorta alone in that clz so i was glad that i knew someone, and of coz she is one v cute gal. alwaz so blur, and alwaz believein wat me and hanwei says. whahah, bluff her she aso duno if its true or really fake. she realli v v CUTE!!! muggin with her is definitely rewardin.. becoz i dun realli dare to disturb her, heex. coz she look v fierce when she is studying! but well, i guess she sure brings more laughter to my day becoz whahah, almost everything she does makes me wanna laugh! =P . will sure miss her blur-ness~

38club [ cant remember wat was ur most recent name! =P ]

zong rong: hmm prob the closest member of the club that i noe? coz we live near mahz. how shall i describe him? i duno, juz feel quite comfortable telling him stuff, even personal stuff. not forgetting that he alwaz have v interestin viewpts and comments and advices~ i mean, sometimes going home with him is real fun, coz he really listens la. and he offers advices! [hey i aso got listen to him hor! ] somemore, i guess i feel that i get to know more of him as a person la. hai, but he aso going army soon, will sure miss his da dao li plus moodinez [ =P]... well, at least i am glad that i did get to know him more...

guangyi: whahah, prob my "favourite" member? 4eva suaning me, and i am 4eva on top of the list for their scandal news. i mean, i duno wats the thing that appeal to them, esp him, but he 4eva suanin me one la. whaha not that i really mind, will remmeber not to sae i wana sleep coz he will ask "with who?" =) whaha, and everything i hear him laugh, i will wanna laugh too. aniwaz, he sure added loads of fun element to my time in sch too~ when he aso go army, i will miss him coz no one to suan me and make me irritated....

yan zhi: hmm, prob the most "quiet" member? whahah and i am suppose to have everything to do with him la! i mean, i dun realli noe him that well, coz he dun realli talk and all, and with the gossip ard, we rarely talk too..... but well, i guess he is a real nice guy too. poor thing, coz, becoz of me den hafta bear with the stupid gossip for so long...... i am so sorry!!!!! whaha, but he sure have sum really lame jokes that sumtimes juz makes me wanna freeze up as ice. whaha, this one cannot sae i miss him, if not tml in sch sure die! i will feel weird not hearin such lame and sometimes not that farni jokes when he enters army too! =P

whaha and k lar,
ex-husband: nothing much abt him, but muz give him credit coz he is my ex-husband! actually, he;s really quite a nice and fun guy to be with. alwaz crap along with me abt istana la, etc. and he has a real sunshine smile! heez, and he and yanzhi together can make the bez and lamest pair. one tell joke, the other laugh like mad. will miss calling him ex-husband when he enters army and leave me alone in istana. [whahah, k i noe i was driven outa it!]

there are many happy and sweet memories that i wanna take when i have to leave nj and there are others which i hope will be left behind, coz its only then that i can truly step out and live a whole new life


Queen Tona @ 9:40 PM 0 comments
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hmmm aniwaz, decided to blog one super funny entry, or rather i hope it will at least be light-hearted! hehez
aniwaz, let;s start with the acjc prelim compre paper.
thot the passage was rather interestin~
abt marriage and fidelity among ppl

aniwaz, it talkeed abt how human beings are not "naturally" monogamous
and how we human beings have the capacity to love more den one person at the same time.
it talks abt how its normal that we tend to "go astray" in marriages,
how infidelity is actually rather acceptable.
i mean, i look ard and seriously, the passage does makes quite a lot of sense.
i mean, i am sure there are times when u may be attached and yet u feel something for yet another person.
is that wrong? no, whahah, at least thats wat the passage says, and i aso tink so.
besides, look at the increasin no of divorce cases, no of re-marriages.
so i guess, prob maybe humans are really meant to practise polygamy instead. =P
but well, the passage ended with..
perhaps monogamy is like democracy: the worst system, except when u consider the alternatives~
not bad, liked this article, had plenty of interestin ideas. marriages in a different light~

oh and today's my daddie birthday~~~~
happy birthday!
and one more joke, he came home early for dinner
and he was talkin abt james lye and diana ser gettin married
when he accidentally said dinosaur instead.
k.... i hope that was funny,
at least i realli laughed at that.

more in depth thots laterz ....



Queen Tona @ 6:50 PM 0 comments
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Tuesday, October 07, 2003

hmmm its been a long day...
aniwaz, decided to try sumthing new today~
listings! [ goals? well at least for this couple of mths]

10 things that i want to acheive
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) mug. mug. mug.
2) dun sleep. dun sleep. dun sleep.
3) be nice to my brother, mum, dad, frenz, myself.
4) get a tan.
5) make frenz with my TYS
6) stop wallowin in self-pity. or rather, get a grip of myself.
7) stop crying at the slightest things.
8) be numb.
9) be happy.
10) be myself. be my old self.

10 things that i WISHED i can achieve
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1) drop outa school
2) burn down njc together with all the nerds and weirdos. [ omg, i sound cruel]
3) find a rich and nice prince-charming and get married. live happily eva after in a castle in a faraway land
4) turn back time
5) slack like mad.
6) stike lottery. buy an island. build my garfield house. play with snow. wait.
7) capture his heart.
8) make frenz with my mirror.
9) move house
10) set myself free

wats that for? entertainment purposes? probably.
sumtimes, we juz make too much goals for ourselves.
we juz keep comin up with unrealistic aims, aims that we know are simply impossible.
and yet, we choose to simpy stick to those aims. stubborn? determined? naive?
some things are neva meant to be urs in the first place.
so y bother? y bother giving urself false hopes.
tellimg yourself that if u stick to that aim, u will acheive it someday.
when in actual fact, u know too well urself that,
you are in fact, further and further away from that aim.
you are in fact, gonna lose sight of it soon.


Queen Tona @ 9:34 PM 0 comments
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Monday, October 06, 2003

aniwaz, yest told hanwei abt the bus ride on fri and she ended up laughing for quite long...
seriously, i tink i have juz acquired another enemy though i dun feel a tinge of unpleasantnez to her.
i mean. hello?!?! i dun even noe her.
when i told hanwei abt it, apparently she said that dun care la.
she wld have said more if it were her.
i mean, i cant be bothered too.
prob shall keep my distance away from mr U, not that we were even that close b4.
dun wanna risk having my life in danger.
sigh. relationships. such bothers.

i dun wanan be a slave to relationships.
i dun wanan have my mood affected by the slightest things that reminds me of him
i dun wanna hold false hopes
i dun wanan have to stare at him from a distance
i dun wanna tear

i dun wanan only blog down stuff that i wun get to tell him
i dun wan to lose him.....
and yet i have lost.




Queen Tona @ 9:48 PM 0 comments
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Sunday, October 05, 2003

I am drowning in a million tears,
I want to love you, but I cant get near,
I want to get away from here,
But I cant get out, I am full of fear.
I am going under, I am losing sight,
I cant give up, but I have run out of fight,
I have lost my way, I have lost my might,
I wish you were here to hold me tight.
You rescued me when I was down,
You lifted me to higher ground,
Showed me the way when I was lost, wandering around,
But things changed, you seemed to turn cold,
Was our relationship already growing old?
How will I go on, without you to hold?
I hope our love does not fold.
I thought you cared but it seems you lied,
I have changed so much, I really tried,
You hurt me so much, I could have died,
I am drowning in a million tears I have cried.


Queen Tona @ 4:51 PM 0 comments
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Saturday, October 04, 2003

well. stayed at home for today.
wanted to tidy up my room.
cleared up some stuff b4 realli startin to mug nex week.

threw a few stuff away... arrange a few stuff.
i know. i know i sld not have opened that box,
i sld have juz discarded it into the corner of my room.
but no, my heart says that it sld stay, rite there.
and being the stupid me, i opened it yet again.
wats inside the box? letters, cards, prezzies.
so wats so specical abt it? nothing. nothing is special.
letters, well i have tons, cards, i have dozens, presents, i have loads.
so y? y isit that everytime i open that box, it neva fails to affect my mood?

becoz, the box contains memories, sweet memories.
i can picture myself smiling, i can picture myself feeling loved, feeling cared for.
everytime i clear up my room, i throw away some stuff.
but i noe, no matter how determined i am to throw that box away,
i will neva do that.
somethings are neva meant to be cleared.
some memories are neva meant to be forgotten.
some wishes are neva meant to be fulfilled.

and i noe if i throw away that box, i will be throwing away a large part of me.




Queen Tona @ 10:12 PM 0 comments
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yoiee peeps.
whahah dun worry, i haven disappear.... its juz that the lazy bug has taken control of me these few days.
really, i feel so invaded!!!! whahha, thank god i managed to win this battle and finally appear in this blog today! the past few days, i have realli been damn lazy and with-drawn and juz shuttin myself up la.
din even wanan blog etc. no, my mind hasnt been dead these few days, but i dun see y i sld write down those thots that ran thru me, becoz there werent much worth mentioning. or rather, there werent any that i sld mention here, rite out in the public.

well, let's update on my MIA days.... [whahah dun fall asleep la, pls pls pls!!! =) ]

aniwaz, i have broken a record these few days. i met my greatest enemy TWICE in like 3days? how gREAT can that be? seriously, that cause a totally 180 degrees change to my mood all rite? i mean, i can neva imagine myself realli detestin someone so greatly, but i guess, reality prove me wrong. everytime i see him, i find an urge to puke, i cant imagine how such a hypocrite can exist in my life, or rather, used to exist. its realli disgustin to tink back of how i stil used to regard that someone as a fren, OMG, i tink i am gonna throw up yet again. nvm, aniwaz, thats juz a totally mood-spoiler and if i can do something, i will explode a bomb at him. *grinz*

next came the 2rd interesting thing.... papaya VS mangosteen. apparently, my clzmate mr uncle [mr U]'s fren , or rather "CLoSE fren", miss Papaya [ms P], bought a papaya moisturiser. i mean ok, i have nothing against that, except that papaya is not exactly a fruit that i adore, and in actual fact, i wld rather go without food, den eat Papaya.... so nvm, i mean its ok if u wanan use wateva type of moisturiser, but whahah my frens all find it quite amusing. and if she hasnt first commented on me and hanwei, we probably wun have laughed that much. so halfway during chemistry, guangyi took out one purple glue stick and told weber that its mangosteen lip-balm. and she believed. so we all burst out in laughter and ms aw was lookin at us with a totally amused look. whahaha, its realli damn farni, den hanwei started coming up with all sorts of durian moisturiser etc. and we were asking mr U whether he like papaya or durian or mangosteen. whaha so that was our giggle topic for the rest of this wk.

yesterday afternoon was damn hot, so we went to KAP for ice-cream!!!! den me wanted to go lib so me and mr U decided to take 961 [ a bus that ms P also takes] so i was like saeing, that ms P may be on the bus and apparently, she was really on it!!!!! whahha, damn accurate!! when ms P saw us, i tink she had this totally pissed off and angry look la, as if i was gonna eat up her mr U.... i mean HELLO!!!@@!#!#!#! so nvm, ms P sat at the back and me and mr U sat in front a bit. den when we got off at woodlands, mr U said bye but ms P had that black face still. i mean, ok, fine, it may be my fault that i choose to take that dumb bus with mr U, but hello, she looked as if i juz snatched her husband away from her rite in front of her eyes lidat ok! tink she was realli quite pissed.

wat was it that cause ms P's reaction? k la, mr U can deny all he wants, but i feel its jealously. women. women tends to get jealous at the slightest things. u get too close to another gal, and u will find ur gf giving u the cold shoulder. but well, i guess, its ok for women to feel jealous once in a while lar. at least, it shows that she cares. i mean, when it comes to a pt of time when u can be with another gal almost all the time, and ur gf dun feel anything, i sense trouble for u. when she is jealous, it shows that she dun wanna lose u. but well, gals, pls get jealous over stuff that are worth gettin jealous over. show that u care, but dun make him feel that u are controllin him, restricting his freedom....

omg, what am i talkin abt here? whaha, crazy, do i even know much about relationships? if i do, i probably wld not be avoiding them. *sigh* but well, guess my life can do without those troublesome and time-consuming BGR. so wat if i am shuttin myself away? rite?



Queen Tona @ 10:06 AM 0 comments
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Wednesday, October 01, 2003

hmmm been slackin too much these few days, until the extent that i was too lazy to on the computer.
aniwaz, got back all the results except GP la,
what did i get? not fantastic results but well whahah i am happy enuff~
BDDD, k la, i mean if u give someone else this results they may tink its damn lousy,
but well, given the amt of mugging, or rather the lack of it, i guess i am glad that i manage to scrap thru yet again~ *grinZ*

but well, was quite sad abt maths..... was so careless, if not i cld have gotten an A. BOO HOO HOO, thats the only thing i am quite sad at, coz well, i wanted that A la. =) nvm, B aso not bad.
aniwaz, that stupid principal had yet another talk with us this morning abt our studies etc.
i mean, its realli damn sad lor, the fact that the only times she eva bothers to talk to us is to tell us how we did in the common test and pressure us to do better for the As.
hello? i am sure that the sch din employ the prinicipal juz to stand there and read out % passes, and tell us to study and mug hard.
realli miss the times in st nicks. when xiao1 zhang3 will spend hours talkin to us abt almost everything under the sun, although only 40mins was given for assembly, she neva fails to exceed the time, realli. and although at that time, we do complain abt her nagginess, i realli miss it now! i mean, i realli can feel that she is geniunely concern abt the well-being of all of us lor. alwaz ask us to drink water etc, yes, may seem naggy, but at least she bothers..... sob sob i miss her!!!! and $#@%@^@ pls la, that stupid prinicipal today was like, " oh three is a nice number, but i love two better" i mean, its that all she eva cares abt, i wun even give a damn if njc is rank last la. ARGH. fed up. and i tink she spends half of her day in njc eatin at the western food stall man. !!!!! [ whaha, sorry but i have everything against her] and she was saeing wat, "oh i hired a security guard at the bus stop gate, so that u can do ur exams safely and not having to worry" i mean i seriously tink that the guard is a waste of money!!!! all he eva does is stand there, stand there and stand there. i dun see how that security guard can put my mind at ease during the exams man, no sense at all. ARGH. irritated with her la.

aniwaz, laterz~ whahha hope i am not that lazy tonite..


Queen Tona @ 4:10 PM 0 comments
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