yep peeps its me back here crappin again.
aniwaz, have u ppl eva done anithing crazy juz becoz someone mentions tat he/she wld realli love to have this this this?
yesh, the word here is crazy. becoz u find urself so easily influenced.
its like ur actions are juz governed by that someone.
and den u start to revolve ur entire life ard the person.
u do all u can to help tat person get wat he/she wants.
yesh, all u can, even if it means sacrificin ur time, sacrificin ur sleep
but u tink its all worthwhile.
but wat happens in the end? he/she merely juz mention a 10q.
he/she wun even noe how much trouble u have gone thru juz to get things done.
wat u have done prob doesnt even seem significant when compared to others
who merely went to a gift shop and grab something off the shelf.
so have u wasted ur efforts?
oh no, u find ppl saein tat as long as its for the someone i love,
i dun mind doing anithing for him/her even though there wun be anithing in return.
WTF, to me its utter bullshit.
ok, maybe everione else can be tat wei3 da4 but not me.
i am a v selfish person.
u want me to give something unconditionally? w/o even a single return?
i cant.
i cannot sit down here and sae tat as long as tat someone is happy now, i will be happy.
becoz i wun.
y cant i be the one who is happy?
after going thru all the trouble arent i the person who most deserved happiness?
y isit tat everione gets things so conveniently and i am juz like a bloody fool down here.
am i realli tat unlucky?
i had a good cry last nite....
i juz sat on my bed and cry my hearts out.
y isit tat time and time again i put in my heart and soul and i get hurt again and again instead....
i keep tellin myself tat if i try harder the nex time,
u may start to notice my efforts. i will finally get something in return......
i realli hope tat somehow my efforts have not gone to waste,
tat somehow it has not gone unnoticed.
but y is this happening?
y am i here crying for someone who isnt worth my tears.
y am i here crying for someone who wun even noe tat i am here cryin coz of him.....
i am feeling so weak.
sld i carry on believin? sld i carry on trying?
or sld i juz put an entire stop to this entire nonsense.
Queen Tona @ 10:49 PM
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Sunday, July 04, 2004
k this is dear jh reportin on the outing today as promised.....
haha, cos gals plus 38 club [minus weber and plus cc]
wenta kTV!!!! as sorta real BELATEd bday celebration for hw.
it was great fun realli! i muz repeat, its GREAT FUN
i mean, ktv is realli abt a whole grp of frens go sit down and sing and chit chat
and get together and have fun!
and den u sing like there is no tml and no one cares whether u sing nice or not.
wonderful~
aniwaz, as usual there were a variety of songs.... some which i neva picked when i go ktv coz i tink they bring back real bad memories.
but well, after singing my hearts out today, i realise prob i wasnt as affected as i thought i wld be. haha so nex time can choose tat for ktv.
and i cannot stand it coz they sae i sound like tat stupid cyndi..... TERRBILE.
i realli realli dun sound like her!!!! i dun like her!!!!!
=( y do i have such a terrible voice.
feel so sad.
aniwaz, it was really fun, too bad weber missed out on our outin YET AGAIN...
after tat hw left and the rest headed for spiderman 2 at cine.
aniwaz, a lot of ppl sae its damn nice but i find it so typical.
its those kinda u watch, u noe spiderman wun die, u noe the bad guy will die.
and den u noe the endin will be the city being peaceful again and den u noe tat the nex movie will feature yet another bad guy.
so wats so good abt the movie? maybe in this time when the entire world is in a utter mess with ppl killing other ppl and holdin others hostage everi other day and bombs exploding everi fornite, everione is hopin for a "hero" like spiderman to come save the world bah.
maybe la huh, aiyarz but well the world is really scary now, ppl are becomin cave mens....
scary to see them killing here and there like no body;s business.
aiyarz wats the big deal rite? juz live ur own life la, do they find joy in killin ppl or do they really tink tat after they kill like how many ppl den their problem will be solved.
terrible. heck, k i am digressing.....
back to the thingy, after movie gy left coz he needs to book in early tonite [ poor thing]
den the rest, headed for chicken rice at far east and proceed to heerens to shop for gift for zr's fren which is when yz left and the rest haha not much rest left.... went to heerens!!!! of coz, me wenta show zr my dear marimo's zhen mian mu!
haha i gave him warnin first k, haha in case he faint and i have to carry him down i will faint myself..... haha [ maybe u guys sld refer to wat he feel abt my marimo in his blog]
k la, i noe i am stupid, dumb, lame, silly wateva but well i guess i juz like it
for no reason, i means its reali like how u like someone and u cant find a reason as to y u like him/her.
k la, i am going insane i think. i am going insane abt the fact tat i have havin such conflicin thots recently. sometimes i haf a strong urge to find someone and maybe start sum relationship, and den sumtimes i haf the "guys are such jerks and waste of time" kinda mindset..... craze. zr sae i haf high expectations, really? is it too much to ask for to find someone who i love and loves me back? probably. does this kinda relationship really exist in the 1st place. terrible.
and apparently my dear marimo is supposed to bring love and happiness to all ard me.
ha, i noe its juz a dumb legend la, but well, sumtimes u rather believe in silly things den to believe in urself.
seriously i dun even have much faith in myself.
i dun have much confidence abt myself.
sumtimes i feel juz so small when compared to others.
wateva, heckz. so will marimo really bring me happiness?
am i even entitled to real happiness? or perhaps its juz me stopping myself from attainin it. wateva the case, u'll neva noe.
maybe someway down the rd, u see me tellin another story,
u find me happily in love,
or maybe someway down the rd, u realise tat after readin my blog for so long,
i am still tat pathetic me.
[ i wun be surpised if tat happens, becoz i am realli not tat nice/gd a gal......
in fact, i dun tink i am a realli nice person at all...... =( ]
k enuff crapz for the day.
oh ya i muz mention this......
zr keeps indirectly implyin tat i am short!!!
how can u do this to ur fren!!!
u noe how much u broke my heart whahahha.
dun fren u liaoz la, esp after wat u wrote abt me in ur blog. hurmph.
i can be as petty as k u haha.
lala~ k. catchin tv..... 2.35am~ portugal vs greece!!!!!!
i dun care greece betta win
i hate portugal!
Queen Tona @ 10:13 PM
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Saturday, July 03, 2004
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
forgive me but i am tat excited!!!!!!
i got my marimo all thanks to XR!!!!!!!!
my gawd, i luv her so much, she actually bought marimo for me!!!!!
so kind of her!!!!! *huGS*
although i did sae tat i will marry whoeva buys it for me la,
aiyarz but i cannot marry her or zp will kill me,
so nvm la, we shall be frenz 4eva!!!!!!
haha, so happy!!!!!!!
actually i aso duno y i am so obssessed over it.
but i realli like it a lot.
it may seemed a bit stupid but well, i like it. tats enuff.
omg, its juz so exciting......
the thot tat i got my marimo is omg.....
=)
thanks xr, realli thanks!!!!! haha dun worrie i will tink of u when i see my dear marimo!
aniwaz, din get anithing from zara nor mango. nothing nice.
got a polo T instead!
haha but tats beside the pt
coz of coz highlite is my dear marimo!!!!!
b4 i end this entry allow me to........
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
i got my marimo
=P
Queen Tona @ 10:45 PM
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Friday, July 02, 2004
hehez. was out in town with my cos gals~
and so qiao coz all 3 of us turn up in white T and jeans skirt!
now this is wat i called mo4 qi4!
my gawd, i miss them so much!!!!
haha, it juz feels good to crap and shop ard mahz.
but well, we ended up with nothing though.
tml's gonna go town again.
headin for mango and zara sale.
muhHAahaHAHAHAa.
sales are the best la!
oh yah and sun's KTV!!!!!
yeah!!!!!
and see cos gals again! with 38club.
heex.
lookin 4ward.
k laterz~
Queen Tona @ 10:30 PM
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Thursday, July 01, 2004
here's a treat!!!!!
.
Queen Tona @ 10:57 PM
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oh boy its been long since i blog a decent entry~
oops not tat i mean my other entries were indecent, aiyarz u get my idea la huh?
let's see wat are the happenin stuff tat has happened these few days.....
yawnz, actually nothing.
haha =P
aiyarz, boring boring boring..
everione;s talkin abt going camps/orientations in the uni.
seriously lah, they dun REALLI look exciting or attractive to me.
and realli, i dun feel like going to a single one of them.
call me anti-social la, but wats the whole pt of payin $$
and havin to go torture urself 4 5days, and acting all friendly and enthu,
and playin all those dumb dumb games and gettin all dirty and wet.
and at the end of the entire thing, ok maybe u make one/two close frens
but the rest? prob they wun even bother to wave a hi when they see u the nex time.
urgh.... sick and tired of puttin up an act and actin as if i am tat friendly.
so will i go for any?
undecided.
of coz the other major happenin was the huge BLACKOUT...
and lucky me wasnt affected.
but well, i noe wat its like la.
suddenly u feel so lost and helpless coz there is no light and nothing to do.
and den u start to realise how dependent u alwaz were on electricity....
yawnz. quite terrible experience la or rather tramatising.
esp for those who are stuck in the lift.
my gawd, i cant imagine if it was me, i wld have fainted.
but well, if i am trapped in the lift together with tony, HAHA
tats a totally different story, =P
and did ya noe tat the iweekly sae tat tony is stella's rumoured bf!
my gawd totaly absurd! how can tat happen!!!!! hurmph!
i dun care, rumour only la huh, dun believe arh!
aniwaz, got my programs all up for the nex few days,
so its havoc time yet again!!!!!!!
Queen Tona @ 10:44 PM
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