i woke up early to figure out acc.
despite sleeping late yest.
but i gave up. the numbers are making me giddy.
and i dun understand a single thing.
BOO!
now i am slackin online.....
i tried to make out y am i doing this.
slogging my life over the work here.
and wasting my time on the useless GEs.
do i realli love acc that much?
in fact, i cant picture myself workin as an acc for long.
maybe for the pay i will, but den again,
i realli canot do it for yrs and yrs.
i rather faint.
haiz. i guess, there is no use questioning anithing.
becoz i dun even have a goal of my own...
so i juz do wat the rest do....
y isit lidat? i duno wat i truly want in life.
den i make stupid choices....
den now i am wasting my time trying to
succeed in the choice i make.
i tell myself there is no need to compete.
abt results, scores wat so eva.
i juz go out there and do wat i want,
and juz be happy.
but den. i guess in the end of everything,
i am juz like everione else....
i am startin to doubt my abilities...
to scrap thru again and again.
and i dun like the feeling, the feeling of everione
else around u knowing more den u do,
and den when u tried to ask for help,
they juz give u the look, like why the hell are u doing here.
and they sae they are bz, and they cant be bothered.
i tried to recall y i choose accountancy as my course.
was it coz tat it involves numbers?
den y isit that now i am so sianz and disillusioned.
i have neva felt this way b4....
even in sec sch and jc....
as much as i hate to mug and all, i can still find the
passion to do it.
now? i am juz focusing on clearing modules.
and everione else is focusing on gettin direct honours.
scoring all As.
wateva happen?
haiz, sometimes i realli dun mind juz stop studying.
dun be so "smart", dun follow wat everione says,
go out there, work enuff to feed urself,
get urself a partner, form a family, and settle down happily.
such things are wat brings u real happiness.
not the scores u get in quizzes or exams,
not the uni degree that u get at the end of the day...
so wat if i am complainin and all?
i am still stuck here. in ntu. in acc course. in yr 1.
and i still have such a long wae....
BOO.
let me get married and go farming in new zealand lAR.
Queen Tona @ 11:19 AM
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Sunday, March 06, 2005
WHEEEEEEeeeee.
haha i am still not having progress with
the accounting... coz i wenta fo tang in the afternoon.
and we finally watched the video for that
charity dinner. haha quite weird to see the whole
product.... duno lehz. cant sae it was very good.
lousy teacher mahz. aiyarz, but thats the best i can do le.
so still quite ok larzz. passable.
yawn yawn. how.
i tink i am a v v v fickle person.
BOO.
sucks lorz, i quite dun like it....
k off to do work.
tataz
Queen Tona @ 10:52 PM
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i hereby conclude that if i have to come into contact with
any more job and process costing reports
i am so going to puke and burn the acc text.
its unfit for humans. omg....
the report is so damn long...
and i am supposed to reproduce them...
like i am a genius or something........
AH!!!!
sucks sucks sucks.
i hate sch. BOO.
i juz want to pass.
i cant be bothered abt anithing.
SHOO!!!
juz get over with everything,
since life is so short,
y am i stilll wasting time on such things that
do not contribute to my happiness?
becoz i must see things from the long term?
but i cant even see myself being v happy
in the long term juz coz i can get a uni degree.
in fact, so wat if i din get into uni.
isit going to make my life ani sadder?
simple things can make u happy.
u dun need to have a wonderful career,
tons of money and all. juz enuff to live rite?
den y have i blindly followed the crowd
and end up in the disgusting uni education?
which is totally wrong wrong wrong.
den again, y am i lamenting on this?
URGH.
i am juz complaining.
i am juz rambling.
in fact, i dun even noe wat am i saying.
realise that i have exams startin on 19/4.
wohoo, i duno if i am happy to get outa class.
i cant even sae its a class.
its totally bondless. no love. nothing.
everione juz go there and sit down and have lessons
and go off. i miss my first sem class!!!!
budden again, its alwaz towards the second half
of the sem that u get to noe more ppl
and wished the sem was longer so the frenship
and all can be made stronger.
den again, if fate has its way,
we may end up being classmates again rite?
haiz. miss my first sem class....
and the bad thing is, i noe if we were to go
back to the first sem class again,
the frenships will def be weaker.
farni how the sch like to encourage us to have
"hi and bye " frens rather than frens u can keep for life.
rubbish rubbish.
i am sprouting rubbish.
actually wat i meant to sae was,
if i have it my way, i want to have a class
with the ppl that i want, and the tutors of coz.
haiz. wateva it is, my current class isnt that bad,
if u want to see things optimistically.
am i sounding very confusing?
haha i tink so.
i dun want to type out the stuff that i realli want
to say leh.
becoz i noe i am juz being crazee.
BOO.
mad.
acc, acc is making me CRAzee.
and to u, take some actions.
haha i may juz say yes. =P
Queen Tona @ 1:45 PM
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Saturday, March 05, 2005
some ppl feel that my previous entry was
down rite mean, evil wat have u.
i cannot agree more....
but den again, i am not changing anithing.
becoz i realli felt this wae, wats the pt
of writing all nice stuff.
when the time is ritel, i will naturally
stop being mean, i guess.
aniwaz, having flu now. sucks.
duno y, today spent the whole day
doing the IT access at zy's hse.
hahaz, and we sorta finished it le.
(now tats wat guys are for in the IT proj)
haha i tink he will kill me for sayin that.
but he is realli nice, he did more den half of it.
haha so yep, we do do, slack slack and all
until ten plus den headed home....
thank god he lives at amk, if not i will faint.
my nose was alreading dropping le....
and now i am sneezing non-stop...
=(
today someone said something.....
and i was quite shocked. haha and i sorta
pretended i din hear lar, i mean, i treat it as
if he was joking. wateva it is, i felt it.
and all i can say is =)
whether he meant it or not is another issue.
but he made me felt special.
Queen Tona @ 11:41 PM
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Friday, March 04, 2005
hmm..... sianz.
i tried to blog in chinese. but cannot.
y lidat.... who noe how?
i wanted to post up the lyrics for a song.
wang4 bu4 liao3 by shi1 wen2 bin1.
i realli like it. sounds v nice.
hahaz.
aniwaz, today is the release of the A levels.
haha dun worrie, my memory still served me well.
i can remember almost everi single detail
during that day.....
from b4 when we were gathered at macs at kap,
till when we reach sch and we cos gals
keep re-queueing until we were the last 3 to
get the results, till when martin chew
said to me " not bad results"
till me holding the results slip and asking
if i was dreamin.....
till we sat at the canteen and chat,
till we went to swesen and get the geniuses
to treat us, till we went to catch the movie
butterfly effect, till the mrt ride home....
hahaz, realli realli, i can picture everithing....
and now i look back, wow, it all seemed so unreal...
dun realli noe much ppl gettin results today.
i am evil.
i realli hope a certain person dun do well.
i dun give a damn.
how can she have everithing in the world
and i have none.
how can she not go thru any devastation and
i have to.
so as much as i tell myself not to harbour
such evil and mean thots,
i am still doing it....
v mean, i noe.
but i dun care, juz let me be mean this once.
i hate to see that smile on ur face,
i hate to see the victory.
i hope to see u fall one day in front of me,
i hope one day u will be at a even worse position den i was.
i realli do.
evil. mean. thats me when u take things away from me.
tats me when u come stepping on my toes.
when u come flaunting ur victory in front of me.
when u give me that innocent look.
when u give me that sorry look.
when u give me that dao look.
i hate u,
i hate it!!!
haiz...... i seemed to be the devil...
in front of him. i am.
or rather in front of him, i am nothing.
invisible.
wateva. i dun give a damn.
u came and took everithing.
i hate u!
Queen Tona @ 11:04 PM
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Thursday, March 03, 2005
yeah. i finally made it to the end of the week!
woHOO!
let's talk abt something tat i have been wanting to blog abt.
yea, blogging.
haha, i wonder how everione blogs u noe.
as in, u noe u juz on the computer and type...
budden, its v different, i tink.
as in the way everione blog.
some ppl, they can spend the entire day planning
wat they want to blog, den they gather their thoughts,
den they spend quite a long time blogging.
haha, i quite admire this kinda ppl, their blog entries alwaz
seemed to have so much in depth thinkin that kind.
den there are others, haha like mine.
which is usually no much link and i juz crap wat i want.
haha and i dun spend so long bloggin one lar.
normally 10-15mins done le.
i duno leh, i juz have the habit of typing wat comes to
my mind, i dun even care much abt the english
and the spelling and all.
aniwaz, someone, haha, yea someone, =P
used quite a farni wae to describe my blog...
" 3 days in love, 2 days out of love, 2 days empty"
haha as much as i hate to admit it, duno leh,
to a certain extent its true bah.
wat u all tink?
haha, given me, a gemini, my mood fluctuates the
same wae the roller coaster does, so yep
haha i tink that phrase quite describe my blog leh.
hahaz. though it doesnt sound v nice.
haha sometimes when i want to get down to
blog abt realli serious stuff, i find it v weird and all.
=(
does that shows tat i am a shallow person?
only talk and crap abt silly stuff.
hahaz. tats it, how did i pass GP?
*gaspS*
haiz, v sianz abt sch,
wonder why are there such selfish ppl ard.
they act as if they are willing to share and help,
but when u realli want them to help,
they come up with every single excuse.
everione is juz pushing everione else,
tryin to out-shine and all.
striving to get the BEST.
BOO. wateva happen to frenship?
budden again, haiz.
who can i blame?
too lazy, too stupid, too me.
haha k, over and out!
byE!
Queen Tona @ 10:34 PM
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Tuesday, March 01, 2005
i realli wonder why....
when i want to juz keep my distance.
u have to keep coming back.
u keep appearing...
u keep remindin me of ur existence.
haiz.
i realli want to push u away.
i noe i sld do it.
and yet i am here.
Queen Tona @ 10:47 PM
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Yeah.
Queen Tona @ 3:48 PM
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