saw a rainbow on my way home today,
i guess this is going to be a beautiful week
Queen Tona @ 11:23 PM
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Tuesday, February 24, 2009
the F4 craze is back~ at least for me! =D
anyway, after getting the IT department to help me install the M1 modem yest,
my entire laptop went mad and reboot itself,
so, yest, for the first time since i stepped into DT,
i went home without my laptop! haha it was sleeping in the IT department the entire night.
and today, they gave me another new laptop coz my old one is still dead........
so well, let's see within the short span of 2mths, after that stupid vista migration,
i have changed my laptop thrice?!?!
i am unlucky, or am i unlucky???
=\
Queen Tona @ 11:16 PM
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Sunday, February 22, 2009
its been a super bad week at work.
i am beginning to see working place in a different light altogether.
as in, a year ago, i would probably think there is no such stuff like office politics,
and evil/fake people around me,
but now, i am beginning to think otherwise.
queen conclude that not everyone is how they appear/i perceive them to be.
i was and maybe is still am very naive.
its just, i truly wonder, wats going on in the minds of others,
one min, they are smiling at you, joking with u, buddy with you,
the next min, behind ur back, they are probably just thinking u are a big fat joke,
and gossiping abt all the awful stuff, that even i, as a 3rd party, feels upset abt.
i am just kind of disappointed,
that maybe, those frens that i made along the way,
which i used to think, they are kind people, who are there to help,
turn out to be people i feel i dun know at all.
and probably people i dun even wish to know in the first place.
and yet at the same time,
i have to put on a fake smile,
and still try to gel into the whole environment,
or else, make my own life miserable.
no wonder people say its hard to make frens in the corporate world,
i am beginning to understand why now.
but well, i am still lucky,
i still have my DT dearies, although we are not free to meet up every often,
and of coz, my butter twin! =)
so i guess, there are still happy things in office to look forward to.
just maybe, not as much as the awful stuff.
anyway,
weekend was spent half working,
shant talk more abt it,
just very pissed wif the way certain things are done,
if there is one thing i learnt,
it is to tell myself, if i stay long enuff,
i will make sure, i do not do stuff that will make my assistants hate/detest me,
at the very least, show some respect for each other's time, esp the weekends.
today mummy cooked dinner~
haha and after that we all went for massage,
i went for neck and shoulder massage,
and as usual the person commented on my fossil shoulders,
i cant helped it............
try working in the same position everyday....... =X
wah, but its really very shuang, at least for that 30mins.
HOHO.
another week ahead.
prays hard that it will be a more enjoyable week ahead,
but i guess, not many jobs can beat last week,
so well,
queen is going to be happy!
要先学会放手，
才能开始拥有。
永远看着同一个方向，
又怎么会看到，
你身边的其他人呢？
一直在自己设定的框框里面绕，
到最后，也只会回到起点，
除了自己以外，
一切都已经变了。
就要这么执着。
又是为了什么？
这些话，
是该说给你听？
还是，说给自己听。
我，还真的不知道。
Queen Tona @ 11:11 PM
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Thursday, February 19, 2009
queen declares a holiday today
Queen Tona @ 12:14 AM
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Monday, February 16, 2009
i hate sunday nights.
i forever will not be able to get to sleep.
and i forever wake up on monday morning,
feeling like i haven slept at all the previous day.
so now,
queen is going to sleep.
Queen Tona @ 11:03 PM
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Sunday, February 15, 2009
ok. its the weekly affair of i-am-dreading the whole week of work ahead.
but i guess the only way to feel motivated at work,
is to make sure u have smth to look forward to at the end of the week.
and that is probably the only way that i can think of for now,
to keep me going on for the weeks ahead........
"life can only be understood backwards,
yet it must be lived forward"
caught my much anticipated benjamin button late last sun night with twin,
and it was indeed a thought-provoking movie.
not the usual kind of movies which throws all the emotions,
straight into ur face and impact u directly, right there and then,
but rather i thought it was put through in a very mild, gentle kind of way.
its the kind of movie that sets u thinking,
and i guess wat u take with you at the end of it,
will be what the movie set out to acheive.
queen's really happy these days.
my family day on sunday is kinda back in action.
coz both my parents are not working on sunday and my bro will be back on alternate sundays!
haha, so queen hereby declares sunday a family day!!!
this morning, we even went all the way to thomson for prata! =D
certain events that had happened around me, both in the past and recently,
and probably even the movie,
has made me want to really learn to treasure what i have,
at this very point of time.
i dun want to have a chance for regrets.
so i want to cherish what i have now.
which definitely includes, spending quality time with my dear family.
happiness can be so very simple,
not living in huge bungalows,
not dining in restaurants,
not earning big bucks,
its being able to sit down and enjoy each other's company,
and knowing that no matter what happens,
you have something to fall back on,
you can always come back to a place, called home.
Queen Tona @ 10:47 PM
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Saturday, February 14, 2009
V-Day today.
date-less but still fulfilling!
=D
special thanks to xr and twin for their vday gifts!
love them so muchie~
seems like me and xr have finally started to plan for our europe trip,
kinda feeling excited abt it.
i mean, europe is like so far away~
not the typical asia countries that we go travelling at........
hai. i wished we can just go stay there for months,
and enjoy the different lifestyles there........
work's been depressing and stressful and frustrating......
and with the economy is such a bad shape,
i dun even know what to expect in the couple of months,
and how to go abt planning the next move.
boots butter and me were talking over desserts yest at tcc abt the land of pork......
den butter asked me if i will leave in July after bonus,
actually i duno.
i dun tink i will have the heart to just leave mama behind in this entire shit,
but on the other hand, if i stay, i dun tink i am capable enuff myself to meet the expectations of the higher levels.
and i am not sure if i am handle that amt of stress and shitty work ahead........
i am just kinda lost......
i dun see much future staying in audit,
coz the higher u go, the more responsibilities u haf,
the more u are left to survive on ur own.
its not the amt of work/hrs u put in for that job,
coz at the end of the day, they just want the file complete the right way.
even if u slough 24hrs a day and cant produce anything,
they dun give a damn.
coz to them, u are just incompetent. and unable to give them what they want.
yet the inertia to leave is so huge,
leaving audit and going into other commerical firms outside,
it will be a whole new thing altogether.
and what if, i find myself hating the boring mundane accounting job?
there is just so much uncertainty with every single move.
why dun they teach us such stuff in schools?
which textbook can i refer to for guidelines or even answers?
跌跌撞撞的，
这才是人生。
也许吧。
平平淡淡的，
好像反而容易把一切，
当作是理所当然。
Queen Tona @ 11:44 PM
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“Love is so short, forgetting is so long”
how true.
i always believe, memories are not forgotten,
just pushed to a hidden corner.
Queen's been playing tug-of-war with her inner self.
trying to strike a balance in this entire thing,
its truly not as easy as she thought.
the many times i pass the limit, or give myself a chance to even try,
and the times i throw the cold hard truth straight into my face to pull myself back.
its mentally draining.
yet, its constantly happening.
i wonder when's the day everything will come to the right equilibrium,
and if any major changes would haf happened by then.
I dun want anything to change,
and being constant means,
nothing's going to change.
so wats so wrong abt being constant now that makes me want to change?
wat is this equilibrium that i want to achieve,
when in the first place,
we are at what we are at from day one.
你看不到的我，
是永远只能望着你的背影的我。
Queen Tona @ 1:01 AM
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Tuesday, February 10, 2009
cab encounter
Uncle: Go where?
Me:DBS Tower 2
Uncle: wah now this time may have jam. Dun worry i will go faster.
Me: ok. thanks
Uncle: Did you go for F1 last year?
Me: Never.
Uncle: Dun worry, you no need pay to go watch F1. You are now sitting in a F1 car.
and that was by far, the fastest cab ride i took in my entire life.......
(cab uncles, i do value my life....... more den my time.
thank god i am still here.....)
Queen Tona @ 10:31 PM
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Sunday, February 08, 2009
been an eventful sunday,
went my god mother's house bai nian,
plus high tea at goodwood, which i seriously think is overrated.
maybe atas ppl just like to soak in the atas atmosphere,
and they dun care much abt wat they are eating, but well,
seriously, nothing fabulous, i think my dad can do better.
later going to watch benjamin button wif twin!!!
very looking forward to it,
but.........
came home check email and the stupid AIC had to flood my mail with next week;s work stuff.
seriously, i DETEST that stupid AIC,
who likes to do nth, but track u every single min on the phone,
i wonder wat will he do to his gf?
keep her on the phone every single minute?
its like, if u want me to keep reporting to u every single hour on the status of the audit,
den i am going to end up not doing anything, coz u tink i am so free to entertain u and ur stupid phonecalls? i SO regret giving him my hp number,
now i have to suffer. maybe i shall pretend i din pay my phone bills and my line got cut off?
or i am too poor to afford a telephone line alreadi?
GRRRRRRRRr,
just thinking of him makes me mad.
how to survive a week of work with him? i duno.
motto for the week: black face, black face and more black face. although i dun tink i can win him in that. BOO.
why are there still such irritating ppl in the office?
its the vday weekends this week~
as usual, queen is date-less.
hahaz.
ok, make me sound so no market value,
but well, got date not equals got market value also right?
if i can't find the right one,
i might as well not settle for any one.
guess it will be a boring vday ahead den.
but first,
get past the disgusting week ahead first.
Queen Tona @ 8:27 PM
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Saturday, February 07, 2009
its been a relaxing week at work.
that i am super grateful for,
although poor twin was suffering in the land of pork.
you know times when i get to knock off early,
i actually feel guilty for not working late,
like i see others still hard at work, i just feel uneasy leaving early,
but den again, when its my turn sloughing my life away,
maybe others are leaving early too,
so well, i tell myself,
i should just heck abt it.
i will just complete what i am assigned,
and den leave, coz seriously not much pt in staying when u are not being appreciated.
anyway, after tml, queen can finally declare CNY-ed.
coz today i went to my mother's side relatives bai-nian session,
coz they were back from Shanghai on tues already,
den tml i just needa go my god-mother's house bai nian for a while,
and thats it! CNY is over.
today i went yoga with twin,
and i tink i am getting old,
coz i feel so unbendable........
haha is that the right word to use?
oooh, tml i going high tea buffet at goodwood park.
sucha atas place, perfect for the royal family.
hope it will be good~~~~
and den the weekends will be over.........
Sigh.
i seriously believe one working day is longer den the weekends added together.....
the end of peak seems so far away,
where can i find the motivation to strive on?
sometimes i really wonder...
isit that i am so weak as compared to my peers,
or i am just plain useless,
somedays i just feel like giving up and escaping,
coz i feel there are just so much expectations that i feel i cannot live up to,
not being what others think i sld be,
not delivering the type of work that others think i sld be able to deliver...
i tell myself,
i want to stay on, to test where exactly is my limits,
the day i truly cannot take it anymore,
will be the day i know audit is not for me,
and i will go venture out for a more suitable job for me.
till den,
i shall just work towards the end of peak.
at least be grateful that i am still employed.....
梁靜茹-別再為他流淚
就別再為他流淚
別再讓他操控你的傷悲
就算有一點愚昧一點點後悔
也不要太狼狽
Queen Tona @ 11:28 PM
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Monday, February 02, 2009
queen is a happy gal today.
coz to my surprise, i knock off at like 6.30???
omg, this is like a total miracle....
i was totally in shock!!!
i din expect it!!! it felt just like a half day!
its like with a blink of an eye the day is over,
and the sun hasn't set yet. =)
sounds absurd, coz my official working hours is till 5.30 actually.
but den again, that never happens.
NEVER.
女人都是喜欢收到花的。
我想，是吧。
Queen Tona @ 11:17 PM
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Sunday, February 01, 2009
华丽上班族之生活与生存。
幻想与现实，
原来也只是那么一瞬间。
站在舞台上的他，
是活生生的现实。
但，也好像，有点不真实。
有点遥不可及。
有点像梦境。
*元畅-ed*
我没有不开心。
真的，没有。
因为，没有不开心的理由。
有时我会翻回以前写的东西看看，
有很悲观吗？会很消极吗？
我只知道，那些是我当下的心情写照。
我没有理由在这里扮演着你们所以为的我。
也不是说，你们平时眼里的我很假。
只是我觉得，我很双子。
白天的我，很无厘头，
夜深的我，也许有点想太多。
就这样而已。
你问我，想恋爱吗？
我真的想。
只不过，我不知道，
是否在世界的哪个角落，
到底还有没有属于我的王子。
曾经，我很努力的握住，
不属于我的一切，
现在，我放手，
因为，觉得还真的太笨了。
你问我，完全放手了吗?
我真的还没。
但，在努力当中。
努力找到那个平衡点。
就这样而已。
我和你.
世界上最遥远的距离。
就这样而已。
Queen Tona @ 12:43 AM
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