wonderful, cant believe that i slept all the way till 10am on the first day of school.
=) haha and can u believe it? my lesson is only like at 4.30pm.....
total sian diaoz.
yesterday dinner was indeed a enjoyable one coz we talk abt so much things.....
haha and found out so many in depth stories....
i guess everione has got their own little "love history" or wat u call tat.
sometimes u meet the right ppl at the wrong time, sometimes u juz let that someone slip by....
sometimes u make certain decisions and live to regret it....
hmmm, i guess tats y relationships are such profound stuff.
2005, i guess its time to put a stop to all the rumours abt me and Mr Y.
its been so long le lar, this rumour..... and i guess wat can be done has been done, wat can be said has been said,
and i am very sorry that the ending is probably not something that everione will be very pleased with coz we din even end up close, let alone together.
feelings for someone cannnot be forced, no matter how hard u want to try, u juz cannot lie to urself bah.
u cannot force someone to like u, juz like how u cannot force urself to like someone.
*shrugs*
sometimes i ask myself why does things have to be so complicated, so messy, making everione so miserable.
wouldn't it be perfect if i can at least feel something for Mr Y? den wouldn't it have saved everione includin myself from trouble and heartaches?
too bad larz, thats probably all fated.
i guess i haven realli treated this issue in the right way too, and prob like wat hw alwaz says to me
" u realli shouldn't waste ani more of his time"
so i guess, i am glad that this entire episode is going to come to a close, or at least thats wat i gather from yesterday.
so much so for Mr Y, wat abt me rite?
ya, wat abt me?
i duno too myself...... have i fallen?
i am very afraid actually, and i am going to be very cautious.
i dun wanna jump into anithing at all, i realli wan to be sure that wat i am feelin now is love b4 i even decide to do anithing.
i dun wanna go complicate everything and den realise that it was juz me being insecure and all.
maybe we sld juz stay as how things are now, i so afriad to even tink of wats going to happen if i start to want to do anithing more. maybe u will sae i am worryin too much? or u can sae i am pessimistic?
but i realli am.
maybe u can sae i am losin confidence in myself, in the wae i make my decisions....
sometimes i tink to myself, if i can going to forever stay in this stage and not move or do anithing, i am very much going to remain at the same position till i grow old....
maybe i need courage? maybe i need strength?
hai, i am juz feeling so messed up.
somehow, i can picture myself headin for yet another heartache le larz.
y isit tat thats me?
=(
i noe u all are going to tell me the "wat if" story.
the wat if u dun do anithing now and u miss that magical moment, that magical time and den when u look back, u will start to regret all over again, and tink, wat if i had done something at tat time? HAI.
i do noe that, but how high will this possibility be?
i realli wan to try but u dun go try things that u are not certain and even a bit confident of rite?
this is so confusing, my heart is tellin me one thing, my mind is tellin me the other.
ok, wateva.....
dun wan write animore abt this le, i am gettin more and more confused.
=
wat if i can go back in time and change everithing.....
will u still be mine?
i neva realli did forget u, i juz kept u in the little corner of my heart,
although to u, i may not even exist already.
regrets.
Queen Tona @ 1:27 PM
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Sunday, January 02, 2005
sigh, how time flies. tml is the start of the new term or semester so to speak hahaz.
this weekend has been a well spent one i can sae.
fri: which was also the last day of the 2004. me xr and sr decided to go countdown at boon lay place coz sylvester will be there! =) so we first head back to hall first coz the gals needa move back some stuff den we ate dinner at canteen 1 b4 headin to the place. it turn out to be not too huge a thing lar. we reach at ard 7, den like nothing much, so we headed to the macs there to eat ice cream and happily shake legs b4 we went back there again. den we thot sly was not going to come coz the crowd like got smaller so we went to the side to check it out and realise the view there was damn good. den after a short short while, SLY appeareD!!!!!!
he is so god damn cute larz, realli!!!!!!!!! he sang 4 songs and keep smiling and winkin and what have u. he is so so AHHHHHHH. aniwaz, seeing him there on stage felt quite unreal..... coz duno leh, its juz too good to be true bahz *shrugs* so for the rest of the day, i had the silly grin on my face! =) i still cant believe i was so so so near him....... one METRE.... omg. AHHHHHHHH!!!!!
SLY~~~~~~~~~~~
sat: after the long fri, sat woke up bright and early 4 sentosa.... budden the weather is so bad. sianz. rain rain rain. feel even more sianz. ended up, sentosa was also v empty, prob everione's havin nitemare abt the tsunami.... or maybe its the weather. wateva. so we played volleyball and rugby and den wenta soak in the water while playin farni and stupid games whahha. its quite fun lar, only bad thing was there wasnt much sun and instead there was quite a whole lot of rain...
so yep, tats my sat.
sun: wenta ktv in the mornin.... the service is damn bad there, the lunch came so v late. ROAR.
den afternoon watched meet the fockers, ok quite farni but well, not much depth in the plot as usual. den dinner at lips cafe, haha ended up we talked at lips for v long. ask all the personal questions and had a heart to heart talk i can sae. haha its been a fun day with the guys, feel like the good old days in jc whahah. =) and oh yarz zr returnin to tekong lar, tats the main reason y we hold this outin hehez.
ok, juz a brief update. mind v slow.... nothing in depth.
laterz
Queen Tona @ 10:33 PM
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