Name: Jiahui
Age: 22
School: auditor in training ntu acc njc st nicks peiying pri
Often known as: Queen

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The Queen Speaks

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A place to complain
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A place for tears
A place where the true me appears

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Friday, October 29, 2004

i am amazed with myself ppl....
slept at 4 and now i am wide awake.....
duno y i cant seem to sleep yesterday or rather today...
too excited abt presentation? too stressed abt exams?
duno lar, i realli cannot sleep.
as in when i close my eyes all the farni stuff like ob and acc starts coming into my head....
not forgetting my sylvester too.

mad. tink i am realli going mad at this rate le.
boo hoo hoo.
aniwaz, sly was so good yesterday i wanna eat him up...
sad tat i have to miss result show once again coz i hafta attend wedding dinner at sentosa.
=/
and its like after today reali muz mug like mad.
this is terrible.
save me.

i wanna cry...
i wana scream...

i tink everione is realli mad.
i had someone send an email informin us tat he quitting sch at 2plus
and at 3plus he sends another to sae that it was a joke.
extreme maddness.
this is wat exams can do to u.

Queen Tona @ 8:14 AM 0 comments

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Thursday, October 28, 2004

yoz ppl whhaha quite long not been blogging.
not feelin too well nowadays.
havin gastric juz wenta doc a few days ago....

yest had my record breakin stats tutorial again....
5.5hrs... when it was supposed to be 2....
wat can i sae man?
wat can i sae?
did all the past exam papers....
and guess wat?
we discovered that our stats tutor... my fav tutor is a national kick-boxer
NATIONAL kick-boxer k
i am utterly amazed
dumbfounded

this is wat i call all-rounder...
to be able to do ur masters, teach and train at the same time.
and he said something like, in order to be a successful person, u muz be all rounder lorz
i tink v true, if all u can do is mug, it doesnt make u a successful person at all manz.
u are juz a plain mugger.
wow, i am so so so so so so so amazed by my tutor. he is like my idol?
hehez, ok madz.

aniwaz singapore idol today. sly is on.
hope he dun deprove anymore.
tml is ob presentation, time to look professional.
tml is my cousin weddin dinner at sentosa shangri-la.
time to enjoy the romantic feel and wish the best for them.
as for now, its time for me to mug and prepare my speech for tml.

*muacks*
i love u world.

wait till i upload the farni pics tat my ob grp did for our presentation.
i am a lion.
=/
*depressed*

Queen Tona @ 9:28 AM 0 comments

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okz us doing the fiona poise especially 4 justin whahha 

Queen Tona @ 9:07 AM 0 comments

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Friday, October 22, 2004

look at wat i got from pam. awww so sweet 

Queen Tona @ 9:03 AM 0 comments

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nite world, or rather morning world...
let's start today's entry with...
happy bday yz
i seriously tink its quite poor thing to have bdays near exams....
coz everione is so busy....
i had to push all my proj and other stuff away so as to make time for tonite's dinner.
but somehow cos gals may not be able to make it coz their fm proj is due on sat...
so sad...... miss grp outings....
see how larz.
*sigh*

aniwaz, today's singapore idol was totally wonderful except chris.
[aiyarz his existance is basically to provide entertainment only larz]
but olinda sld juz stop wearin dress, she looks like a mamasan.
sylvester went to dye his hair black. so v cute.
although he looks better with gold i feel, but he sang damn well manz.
woHOooooooooo.
i cant help declarin him the singapore idol each week i see him siaz.
AAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhh....
he v cute lorz, realli.
=)

okz, today was fm quiz.
i muz admit tat i did copied a bit....
coz they sms the ans around...
so well, sorta commited a sin.
=P
nvm larz, i sorta can do most of it i tink....
got quite an ok score.....
and sucks lar, there juz seemed to be never-ending stuff to do... endless projs
and the stupid ob presentation stretches all the wae to the last day of the sem.
sucks. and i muz carry my heels and stuff back here nex week.
irritated. all 4 a dumb project presentation.

haiz, back to fm proj.... plus acc tutorialz.
ROAR

Queen Tona @ 1:13 AM 0 comments

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Thursday, October 21, 2004

as usual surfin the net while eating breakfast....

here's wat i got.
farni thots

-Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?
-Why is "number" abbreviated as "no"? When there is no "o" in number?
-Why do the numbers on the phone go one way, but the numbers on the calculator go the other way?

crapz. back to fm.
ah less den 12hrs to sly.
gawd

Queen Tona @ 9:42 AM 0 comments

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Wednesday, October 20, 2004

yesh, its been yet another day, and i completed one quiz.
oh well, at least its a little less stressful now.
=)

aniwaz, stats was as usual unusually long....
its totally terrible. lessons was supposed to be from 10.30-12.30
but it dragged on all the way to two plus.
and u noe wats worse?
i din even prepare today's tutorial coz i was muggin for quiz
and u noe wats even worse?
i din even attend the lecture and dun even noe wat was this week's tutorial topic supposed to be.
so yah, i supposed u all get the idea larz?
summore it was after the stupid stats quiz which was totally stupid.
this is the first time i did a maths quiz w/o pressing my calculator for more den 5times.
crazy, all the theories tested are HUH?
since it was open book, me tried to find the words at the index
but WOW, it was of coz not there. sucks.
wateva larz, ROAR. pass good enuff le.

so after tat, we headed for ob project AGAIN. yes, again.....
doing final touch up plus referencing..... sianz.
tml still have a 6 chapters fm quiz.
boo hoo hoo, i am still skimming thru chapter 11....
yawmz, i cant concentrate v well, this is bAD.

aniwaz, today was a rainy evening so i packed dinner and ate at "home"...
feel so ke lian, sob sob.
aniwaz, so i surfed the singapore idol website while eatin
and i realise someone saw sylvester at jp mac eatin recently!!!!
my gawd, this is like OMG, and jp is so near here!!!!
aniwaz, i am thinkin if i reali see sly, wat will i do?
faint? go mad? go hug him?
whahha, realli lorz i tink i will juz stone there.
oh yar forgot to add, so while we were havin tat greek stats tutorial today,
since we were in a com lab,
me pam and mj on the msn and chat.
in the end it turn out to be a total MAD experience.
whahha cannot elaborate on wat we did, if not everione will tink i am crazy and dun read my blog le.
aniwaz, in the end we were trying so hard to contain our laughter but to no much success.
whahahaha, my frens are mad. no wait, i am MADDer.

aiyarz sucks lar, i cant wait for the end of fm quiz den i can slack a bit.
and den there will be sly!!! woHOO, i am dying to hear him sing.
i am going to scream the hse down 4 him manz.
how can anione eva be tat cute?
*gasp*
.

Queen Tona @ 11:40 PM 0 comments

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Tuesday, October 19, 2004

yello world......
sianz, i am supposed to be muggin for my stats quiz, which is tml and my fm quiz which is on thurs but well, taking a break larz, i realli gettin quite stressed up.
i can literally feel it myself.
=and the stats quiz supposed to be quite tough coz the av is like 9/15?
sucks, and den after the quizzes, i still have to rush my fm project and do my ob tutorial presentation plus get the report of ob done [FINALLY] b4 preparing for the presentation on fri (which i pray wun be me presenting coz i dun wanna wear those kinda office wear....)

aniwaz, juz lookin forward to thurs coz my quizzes will be completed and there is sylvester! hehez, he is sucha cute baby!

yest nite i actually blogged but there was some error, so there, u poor ppl out there missed my wonderful entry hahaz, =P....
and i am missing home, i fone home and chatted with mummie for half an hour....
boo hoo hoo..... i juz feel as if i am missing out on all the fun at home lorz.
ROAR.
but well, hall aso fun...
so haiz, best thing is to learn to teleport so tat i can go home as and when i like!
harry potter, where are u?

am savin $$ this week coz fri got yz's bday dinner....
but when i am stressed i eat so much more!!!!
ROAR.
ok, i seriously tink this entry has no depth and critical thinking,
i am basically rambling to myself.

am thinking how come ppl change
change their character
change their attitude
change their partners
change their lifestyles.
change their preferences
don't they like to stick to the past?
den how come i am the one who neva like to change much?
am i being abnormal?

but den again, arent certain changes too drastic?
how do u go from today" i am in love with u "
to tml " i have nothing to do with u. no feelings. nothing?"
how can u be lovers one day and strangers the next?
even if u can survive such extreme changes, there are ppl who cant

y din u eva spare a thot for me.
u are a selfish idiot.
and i am a bigger idiot to even to still bother abt wats going on in ur life
when i am probably a stranger in urs.
no wait, prob not even a stranger.
sometimes i wonder if i still exist in the limited memory space of urs.
if i tell u i have 100% of those memories, can u pls tell me u at least have 1% of those?
....

Queen Tona @ 11:02 PM 0 comments

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Monday, October 18, 2004

sianz.
i detest mugging.
i want fri to come asap....
i want to get my quizzes over and done with. of coz with acceptable results.
.......................................................................................................................................

if u noe something is bitter, will u still bite on it?
if u noe something is not going to work, will u still try to make it work?
i will be the fool who will bite into something bitter and chew like no tml.
i will be the fool who puts her heart and soul into trying to make something unworkable work.

somethings are neva meant to be changed.
some memories are neva meant to be forgotten.
some ppl are neva meant to be urs

Queen Tona @ 11:57 PM 0 comments

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duno y i am terribly missing home today.
as in now?
as in less den 24hrs after i juz left my house....
i feel like crying.

i tink its juz coz i dun want to get pass this disgusting week....
i am so terribly depressed.
SOB SOB

someone come and console me pls.

Queen Tona @ 1:56 PM 0 comments

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back in hall.
i so lucky!!! once i step into the room it started raining cats and dogs.
=)

aniwaz, let;s talk abt the weekends first.
fri was mahjong day as mentioned...
sat i "woke" up bright and early and left ntu at 6 plus coz i was meeting my mum for breakfast.
so after tat reach home, mug, den took a nap. was supposed to get up at 12pm to watch meteor garden but i actually slept till one... @*$@*!*$!$#%#
at least i din miss the most impt part of dao ming si giving san cai the necklace.
=P

yesterday was wonderful! hahaz, coz my mum took a day off from work which is rare for a sunday. so it was totally a family day so not much muggin accomplished.
we went shopping in the late morning and afternoon to get clothes for my mum coz she sae she wana get new clothes for my cousin weddin which is in 2 weeks time.
i dun see much sense in gettin new clothes for tat, wateva.
after tat, we wenta the vienna restaurant at united square for buffet.
eh in case no one noes wat i talkin abt, its the buffet style tat thingy which serves damn good food and i mean it.
the seafood's really fresh and taste v nice.
and there are reali loads of ppl lorz, thank god my dad noe the person there if not cannot go in liaoz. muz reserve one, terrible.
aniwaz, i realli realli like the prawns there, its totally u can get the most original taste there, its v big and sweet and juicy....
yumz, so now, i tink i have gained ten kg so pls dun make me step on a weighing scale.
=
so sad. today and tml my mum aso day off, but i have to come back to this stupid isolated "island". ROAR.
i miss home, but strangely i tink i too long neva go back home liao so i find my bed quite uncomfortable lorz. so sad.
actually i duno lehz, i dun mind stayin in the hall larz, coz its quite fun too, but i miss home.
aiyarz, can i juz teleport myselF?

aniwaz, back to the more saddening stuff.
this week have stats and fm quiz.
my progress? i juz manage to skim thru stats and fm, left with one chapter each.
but well its only SKIM aniwaz, =P
heck lar, i still have a few more days.
=)
oh and u noe last fri, we got high high high for ob again?
and this time its totally unexpected coz we only spend one hr of serious doing and the rest we slack AS USUAL...
so we concluded tat we shall not put in too much effort whahha.
ok, crapz.

haiz......
lookin forward for the week to end but den the end of this week will means a week closer to exams.
duno lARz, this is so dilema.
ROAR.

ROAR.
ROAR.
ROAR.

ok, shuang liaoz, hahaz. laterZ!
sylvester rules!

Queen Tona @ 10:12 AM 0 comments

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Sunday, October 17, 2004

haiz,
i noe i am startin to get stressed up when i start to over worry abt small small things.
this is bad.
save me.

Queen Tona @ 1:11 AM 0 comments

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Friday, October 15, 2004

yoz everione.
jerry is finally out.
yes, i hear the cheers.
when the results were announced it all seemed so dream-like.
i supposed the supporters arent as rich as i thot they were.
aniwaz, when sylvester was also in the unsafe zone,
i was so worried k, me and pam esp.
i was abt to cry, i mean SI is not worth watchin w/o sylvester lorz
so when sylvester was deemed safe, we went high at sm's room.

aniwaz, speakin abt tat, i was supposed to be working on my ob proj rite?
guess wat am i doing here in my room?
the ob proj thingy turn out to be 10% project, the rest....
eat pizza, kfc, vodka, sprite, chips, SI b4 headin to yet another of my fren's room 4 mahjong.
yes, so they are prob there now playin like no tml.
i came back to bathe and i am supposed to go back later, but sld i???

sianz larz, exams are so near, i haven done anithing.
and i simply cant get all the distractions away from me.
tonite i am supposed to be muggin too, but if i go back there later, no more books le lorz
and tml i will be shagged again.
so maybe i shouldn;t go back?
duno lehz, but u noe sometimes when u noe u are supposed to be doing sometjhing
but there other temptations are juz too great?
=y am i so playful?
sucks.
v worried abt wat my results for the sem will turn out to be.
juz hope to scrap thru as usual.

HAIZ.
wateva.
bathez.

Queen Tona @ 10:55 PM 0 comments

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yawnz world.
sleepy.
i am feeling so sianz and lethargic and i mean it.
its realli those kinda nothing can perk me up and interest me totally tat kind.
=(
wats wrong with me anyway?

exams are round the corner.
it sucks.
the feeling of u not knowin much and havin to take an examination sucks....
how i wish i cna juz skip the exam part and start the post exam activities.
whahha i have already got so many of those activities, i cant wait!
but till then, i must cross this huge hurdle first.
duno how to survive aso.

and tml muz do ob, so no going home too.
i miss my bed.
boo hoo hooz.

Queen Tona @ 1:06 AM 0 comments

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Wednesday, October 13, 2004

sianz.
i conclude that this is the most sucky part of hostel life.
when ur stomach starts to feel hungry at farni hours of the nite
and u start to source around for food and end up eating things like wang wang and chocolates.
and den ur mind starts to wonder, nasi lemak, roti prata, prorridge, pasta, wateva
u name it, i can tink of it!!!!!
feeling so miserable.

i had having meals at odd hours, becoz basically there are no food at odd hours.
and den i will be left in the cold, hungry and sianz and rushin my projs.....
i dun care, i swear that i am going to try to get all my proj parts completed by today.
and den tml i can start to mug.
its been long since i started my "heart-n-soul" mugging sessions.
k, tats provided there are no more projects to block my way manz.
ROARz.

aniwaz, i heard tat sylvester is interested in daphne and daphne is interested in sylvester!!!
=(
boo hoo hoo.

nvm.
i want food.

Queen Tona @ 11:59 PM 0 comments

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yozzZ. dear world, ok not exactly coz i doubt even 1% of the singapore population eva stepped on this webbie aniwaz.
aniwaz, got my laptop back as u can see, and it was after much "argument" btw my dad and tat person. sianz, i mean, he also deserved to be scolded lahz, i alreadi brought back my laptop upteen times for him to repair liaoz and he had to drag drag drag till now when i realli realli need it to rush my proj, so my dad v pissed at him, so given my dad's temper, he will flare up easily with ppl he duno, so he juz sorta scolded tat person lorz. too bad for him manz, i dun even pity him a single weeny bit. BOO. u SHOO. and he had the cheek to complain to me abt the fact tat my dad scolded him when he only send my laptop for repair yesterday!!!!!! when i gave it to him on SAT??!?!?! hello, its written there at the repair slip thingy that h aree gave me back from toshiba.
BOO, i hate ppl who lie. LOUSY.

nvm, wats most impt is my laptop's ok liaoz.
=)
its reachin the middle of the week, time flies.
i dun realli want it to.
coz exams are near.
HAIzzzzzzz

and i v stressed up as usual.
got two projects to deal with,
next week i have two quizzes, stats and fm.
i have ob report due, i have fm assignments due.
boo hoo hoo.....
and on top of everything else, i seriously need to squeeze some time to start muggin for the freaking examsz.

suckS.
i want to go out to work liaoz!!!!!!!!!
=(

Queen Tona @ 9:02 AM 0 comments

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Tuesday, October 12, 2004

crapz. my laptop has died on me.
i tink its seriously juz me and the computer not havin a connection.
all computers love to die on me and i mean it.
sucks manz.
in a v bad mood.
if it doesnt return by today, i am going to curse and swear coz i need it to rush my proj.
irritating.

i aso duno y i so irritated.
sometimes i tink i am juz irritated with myself.
and tats the worst thing coz if u are irritated with any other thing, u can juz jolly well avoid it.
but when u are irritated with urself, tats it man, u juz get more and more pissed.

ArGh.
aniwaz, haha my last entry has caused quite a huge commotion.
=P
i am not in love or even going to be in love or wat. so everione pls relax.
urs truly here is also not going to let myself fall so easily in love aniwayz.
so dun worrie, all the guys out there, this wonderful gal here [hahahaz =P] is still available.

haiz, gotta rush out our ob project asap...... meetin like everiday.
=stressed. *pulls hair*

k laterz.......

Queen Tona @ 9:54 AM 0 comments

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Sunday, October 10, 2004

yohooo.
its sun nitez. tml is monday.
i am so sianz diaoz.
juz the thought of going back to that isolated island is making me sad.
the only thing that i like abt it is that can see the eva-crazee ob grp onlyz.
hahaz.
i sound like i am a major crush or watz.
( oh yea, b4 i forget. my "crush" or crazee for wl is over so i remove him from my fav list.
now itz sylvester! =] )


sianz. today was so sianz.
mug stats for a while.
and i watch tv. huan zhu ge ge 3.
haha i muz realli give it to the show lahz.
they have a way of fabricating all the weird and totally touchin love declarations u can eva find,
haha but its quite hilarious too though.

anyway i am thinkin if we alwaz fall for the same type or category of ppl
or do we alwaz change the type of ppl we fancy after we "learn" our mistakes.
coz i duno, i feel that i belong to the former lorz.
*shrugs*
not exactly too good a thing too.
haiz.

shall see how things go.
its too early to start to even worry manz.
nth's settled
ba zi dou hai mei you yi pie.
hehez

Queen Tona @ 10:24 PM 0 comments

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tired.
hahaz but i am amazed with myself.
despite not sleeping the entire nite and nappin for only 2hrs,
me managed to went town to shop.
aren't i superb?
cant disclose the contents and who i go out with. secret in case.. hahaz =)

but i realli now brain not functioning.
cant do my fm project........
dozens of lectures unread,
millions of tutorials undone,
zillions of mysteries unsolved.

eyes closing le.
i shall reward myself with 8hrs of sleep manz.
gawd, this is so luxurious.
lAterz.
bed, wo lai le!!!!!!!!!

Queen Tona @ 1:03 AM 0 comments

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Saturday, October 09, 2004

back homez. one hr ago.......
v shagged.
realli lorz, wat can u expect from a person who slept like only 5hrs in 2 days?
i look like a total zombie and i still have to rush out my ratio analysis
of my SIX airlines financial reports.... i am supposed to finish it by last nitez.

aniwaz, let's talk abt my exciting project discussion overnite at suemin's room whahhaz.
started at 10pm.... slack late crap, finally did something productive until 2am.
cs drove us out for supper at boon lay market.
had nasi lemak whhahaha, v fun coz crap and joke the entire way.
and he realli drive at break-neck speed siaz.
thank god i am still here. =)

after nursing our stomach, we headed back but den ended up talkin and slackin more until 4 plus when we finally decided to try to continue on.....
by den, cs was asleep. by 5plus, dear jh was eyes half close and pratically uttering stuff that she herself dun remember and i get my grp mates telling me " u juz said tat a few mins ago" so many times...... so by 6am we put a stop to the proj discussion coz justin had to rush to yet another one....... so i juz took a short nap and headed back to hall to get my barang barang and headed home......

its realli quite fun larz actually to do proj overnite.
tats y we may do it again on fri whahha.
we are addicted.
oh and i muz sae, after weeks of trying, dearest ob grp of ours finally managed to acheive a
HIGH on critical thinking
HIGH on creative thinking and
HIGH on self-directed learning~
WO hOOOOOOOOoooo
hahaz. =)
i realli love my grp manz.

ok, and did anione wana bash jerry and christopher up after the results on SI yest?
how can david eva be out?!?!?!?!
i mean anione who is not deaf can clearly tell who can sing better lorz.
i realli hate hate hate hate hate those filthy rich ppl who tinks tat SI is all abt using up an insignificant amt of money [to them of coz] and exchanging it for the SI title.
WTF.
den are u trying to tell me that whoeva is the Singapore Idol is juz the one who is filthy rich and have "frens" who are disgusting rich too larz.
i realli pissed till the max lorz.
and i hate that cocky look on jerry;s face.
it makes me wanna go up to him and peel off his skin manz.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhh
feel so sad for david lar...... boo hoo hooZ
nvm, at least syl's still in the game.
and nex week either christopher or jerry betta get the hell outa of the show
or i will go kill themz
HuRmpHZ.

Queen Tona @ 10:20 AM 0 comments

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Friday, October 08, 2004

hehez. i am now slackin in the ITlab........ yawnz
v sleepy. eyes cannot open. i slept like 4plus hours yesterday.
ob tutorial later.......
and today no go home.
sob sob. i miss home and today is my daddie b-day.

happie bday!!!!!!!!

=)

k laterz.

Queen Tona @ 1:42 PM 0 comments

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Thursday, October 07, 2004

tats it manz today's spore idol was a complete joke.
even david yeo look so comical.
but of coz our dear JERRY ONG neva fails to make the other contestants look a zillion times better.
pls la did anione of ya saw the wae he sang and dance?
he looks like a complete idiot.
as if, totally HUH wat is he doing there tat kinda??
and he gives tat yet again idiot smile of his.
terriblez.
but well, he was of coz the best 'entertainer' of the nitez lahz.
tat is no doubt manz

but well, besides tat......
sylvester was realli power.
he sounds damn good, totally in love with him.
i realli scream my hearts out for him!!!!!!!
woHhhoOOOOooo manz.

aniwaz, today i wenta ob discussion with my eva lovely ob groupz.
haha they are realli a bunch of fun ppl
but well, we spent the entire day on one tutorial question and din discuss our ob project which is like due on nex week?
tats y tml i cant go home!!!!
we are going to rush and do something to our ob project thru out the nitez!
haha aiyarz but well i am quite all rite with tat ideaz
coz we are realli short of timez

sianz.
rushin my fm project too.
uni life is nothing like wat ppl sae.
its hectic.
i am losing sleep.
AHHHhhhhhh

Queen Tona @ 10:02 PM 0 comments

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Wednesday, October 06, 2004

yawnz. morning..........
slackin as usual. stats tutorial soon........
yest was totally unproductive.
spent 7 hours doing fm project at janice's room and
ended up with only the introduction done lorz.
=and my ob project is supposedly due nex week.
pukez.

sianz diaoz.
i hate projects la, waste time plus alwaz not productive and so difficult.
hurmphz.
pissed

Queen Tona @ 9:18 AM 0 comments

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Monday, October 04, 2004

this is bad.
u noe u are gonna fail a test when u make no sense of the questions in the first place.
let me see, i shall try to be optimistic abt it.
the most i can get is like 20/100?
and tats like the best scenario liaoz?
boo hoo hoo, this is starting to make me feel more and more that i am not cut out to be an accountant in the very first place, everything is greek to me.

sianz. i am so sianz.
after the quiz juz feel so sianz.
i feel so stupid.
low IQ or rather no IQ.
=(

heck. shant talk abt the unhappy stuff la huh?
aniwaz, v sian coz my laptop is half dead and august still not here to save it.......
its like all the adverts keep popping out when i use the dumb internet lor
pissed.

tml is a self-declared day for project! yippee hahz.
i cant help it but skip the stats lecture.
he makes me totally feel like puking when i hear him lecture.
for goodnez sake la, b4 u even wanna put ur ideas across, kindly go improve on ur pronounciation manz.
the first time i entered the lt, i thot i was in the lecture of GE-tamil.
total greek.

i shall juz study stats on my own!
lousy lecturer.
only here to waste my money.
BOO.

and one more thing, i hate tat dumb jerry in singapore idol.
u sld have seen tat FAKE shockness in his face when he realise he was not out in the results show on fri.
he simply reminds me of my GREATEST AND ONE AND ONLY ENEMY
how can anyone eva be that fake. its disgusting.
forget it, juz the mention of tat monster or rather beast makes me wanna puke my dinner out and
its totally not worth it manz.

nvm. hahaz
back to stats tutorial........
[ANOVA: analysis of varience]

Queen Tona @ 11:38 PM 0 comments

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Sunday, October 03, 2004

i am feeling shitty. totally. i feel like a piece of junk.

i am beginning to hate myself more and more.
i am beginning to hate my life more and more.

y am i here sloggin my life out and wastin my time on studies?
i hate to mug. i hate everithing i am studyin now.

i hate to feel lost.
i hate the feeling of being left alone, abandoned.
left to survive on my own, left there to pick myself up.
i hate it.
i am as weak a gal as anyone out there,
y isit tat i have to be the one who must learn to be strong?
i am sick and tired of being strong.

y isit tat i feel tat i am still stuck at the exact same spot......
trying desperately to get up.
everyone is juz passing by, no one bothers.
no one bothers to stop and give me a helping hand.
everyone assumes tat i will do juz fine.
and i made everyone assume tat.

wat is wrong with me.
everything.

i realli find v little meaning in life nowadays.......
after so long, nothing much has changed.
even though i tried so hard, i tried so very hard......
everytime i almost succeeded , i suffer yet another blow.......
it juz puts me down further.......

my heart is realli dead now.......
i noe its dead when i start to lose the motivation to stand up again.......
i will juz stay there.......... and let the time and days go by......
i duno if i will be able to be so brave to try to get up again.......
everione tells me that i muz be strong....
but i have tried....... so many times.....
i am tired.

i noe i am juz being plain cowardy.
i noe i am juz afraid of havin to deal with another blow myself again.......
i realli am.

time still goes on, life still goes on.
no one is waiting for me to catch up.
besides, will i eva be able to catch up.........

i am losing confidence....... in myself. my determination. my strength. my survival skills...
i am not confident tat i can get out of this mess myself.

i noe i sound so very pathetic and weak and terrible here.......
but this is wat i am really feeling.......
i am losing all my strength.....

i am trapped in this huge forest.
no directions.no food.no water.
i can walk. i can try to find my way out.
but the more i walk, the more lost i get.
i give up.
i am staying put.
will anyone find me?

Queen Tona @ 8:16 PM 0 comments

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tat it man ppl, i hereby conclude that accounting sucks big time.
and u noe wats the irony?
urs truly is takin the accountancy programz.

i am supposed to be those "accountin is in my blood" tat kinda crapz?
i hate it!!!!!!!!!!
i am so confused i see words swarmin in my head.....
sucks.
i sld not have gone shoppin yesterday.
sucks.
i sld have done my tutorials.
sucks.
i sld not have slept in lectures.
sucks.
i sld at least have read a bit of my acc text.
sucks.
i sld juz change my course.

24hrs to D-day.
BAH

Queen Tona @ 2:19 PM 0 comments

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Saturday, October 02, 2004

thats it manz,
my eva "dearest" hp has died on me twice within 6mths.
i am so bloody pissed. all my nice msgs and pics and ringtones are gone.
*poof* no more.
these few days, its like i cant change my profile and i cant receive any msgs at all.
( so to those who send me msg and i din reply, sorry la i din even noe u all send in the first place)
total sian diaoz.

i am so totally going to condemn nokia.
it sucks.
but i have no money to change fone..........
depressed.
i have already decided man, if i have to go back to nokia care again, i am going to really scold ppl liaoz.
i dun care if i am going to appear like a mean monster!

and i am only at chapter 4 of acc..........
this is bad, slow progress.
and i v tired........ my eye lid feel so heavy..........
but i needa mug...........
coffee~ here i comez.

Queen Tona @ 10:19 PM 0 comments

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let's talk on something today........
forever.
no, i have nothing against the word.
its juz a simple english term
in case there are some who need the meaning to it
"For everlasting time"

so wat prompt me to wanna talk abt this innocent lookin word.
i am sure everione who tunes into radio will hear dedications like
" i love XXX 4eva and eva" "even if we are not meant to be together,
i will still love u forever" tat kinda sort of dedications.

4eva.....
isnt it juz too strong a term, or have everione juz start to use it so blantantly now.
when u tell someone u love him/her forever, do u even mean it in the first place?
or am i going to find u 2mths down the road, telling the same old thing
to yet another gal/guy?
din u say forever? wat happen to that? or does forever = 2mths for u?

i hate it. i hate it when ppl say things that they don;t mean.
i hate frens who tell me oh i realli love XXX and want to be with him 4eva
and several mths down the road the XXX has changed to YYY.
if u cant be sure that u will love that person forever, dun even bother using that term.
dun come and give me all those crapping and sweet stuff
the" i will love u 4eva, till the sun stop shining, till the sea go dry, blah blah blah."
it sounds totally pathetic.
dun even expect me to feel touched yet alone tear when u make the wonderful love declaration of urs.

i am no longer that stupid naive gal i was several years ago.
if u cant give me promises, dont even make it in the first place.
don't come and give me hopes and later shattering them right in front of me
and leaving me behind to pick up all the bits and pieces.
if u cant promise forever, den for goodness sake dun.
dun try to make urself sound like a eva so faithful lover.
it juz makes me start to doubt u even more.

am i being cynical down here?
i duno, i juz noe tat i dun wanna appear like a stupid fool eva again.
i dun wan myself to be stupid enuff to believe in such promises eva again.

wait till the day when u are going to leave this world,
and u still have the same person in ur mind,
then u tell me tat that love for her was forever.....
then i will realli feel touched.

till then, please guys, juz stick to the simple "i love u"
and even then, say it when u realli mean it.

Queen Tona @ 2:14 PM 0 comments

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Friday, October 01, 2004

hehez thats it manz.
i declare sylvester my top most fav idol~~~~~
he is realli omg damn kawaii siaz
=)
dun u all tink he juz sound so wonderfully great?

ok, aniwaz, yea back to more serious stuff.
today's lessons were wonderful to have.
hehehz, i seriously tink i am loving my dearest ob group more and more.
its juz so so so crappy and crazy,
brings back many jc memories siaz.
whaha realli lorz, we juz laugh all the way from 12.30 at lunch till 4.30 when ob ended.
its realli whahhaha, tat kind.
i reali love them loads. whahha.
although we like to do stupid stuff but well its damn fun aso larz.
even the tutor was like " this group have v good humour"
=) now this makes me start to love tutorials on fri le, i used to dread it totallyz.

lalallaz~
so now i love ob.
i love my clazmates~~~~~~

hai, but on a heavier note,
i have acc quiz on mon......... 8 chapters.
me is nowhere even near the first page.
thank u.
=
k jia you~~~~~~~~~

J-I-A-H-U-I
jiahui, jiahui all the best~

k going mad.
cranky whhahahah

ciaoz~~~~~~~
acc wo lai le!!!

Queen Tona @ 10:49 PM 0 comments

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