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About

Name: Jiahui
Age: 22
School: auditor in training ntu acc njc st nicks peiying pri
Often known as: Queen

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The Queen Speaks

A place to ramble
A place to complain
A place for laughter
A place for tears
A place where the true me appears




History


06/01/2003 - 07/01/2003
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Saturday, January 31, 2004

lets juz say this is gonna be a nasty entry and wateva i do blabber here is prob coz of a moment of fury and i dun really mean wat i say here..........

i seriously haven been so pissed for so long. work ended at 3, zr msg to ask if i wan "pay" my treat to him, so i was tinkin, hmmmmm y not since can talk and its been quite long since we two had an outing, sorta missing the times when we go home together etc. so everything was arranged. i was a bit early but heck, i juz waited. sumhow, i caught a glimpse of yz.....i feel that sumthing is wrong as time goes by, and apparently, he has arranged sumthing for me to meet yz or wateva the bloody heck without me noeing. i mean, if that was wat u want, u jolly well tell me that oh, u wun be here so soon and den tell me that yz is aso coming along. and seriously, if i really had wanted to go out with yz, i wld have the sense to arrange an outing myself. i duno, i juz feel so pissed off all of a sudden. wat is this? match-makin session? y isit that u alwaz like to put me and yz together when i have already made known to u and u freakin well noe that i dun have a single ounce of likin for him. all there is is awkwardness. and if u really tink the feelings can be developed, seriously to me its utter bullshit.
its juz argh. i duno, duno y i was so angry that i almost cried...... i feel so stupid. its like i go for an outin without even noeing wat has been installed for me, i juz feel like a complete fool....

yes, i am probably over-reactin. its prob coz of all the anger that i have swallowed thru out the bloody week and it all boils down to today that all my anger is let off. but i freakin dun care. i dun give a damn at all. i juz wanted a nice dinner with a fren and den? i duno wats the bloody reason behind ur stupid and senseless plans but i juz felt totally silly. if u had arranged for me and yz to meet up earlier without u, why? why dun even mention it to me at all? dun u find it totally absurd to maybe find sumone else turn up at the freakin place? and u noe bloody well that things btw me and him are juz too complicated to be mentioned. u noe damn well, that i dun even wan to have to deal with things btw me and yz. den y this? i dun understand y u had to even plan to put me in that damned difficult position.

yes, i am being the unreasonable one. and u prob will be pissed off by wat i have said.
yes, i may be even accusing u of stuff
yes, i noe u mean well. but at least let me noe... my fren.... dun i even have the right to......


Queen Tona @ 9:39 PM
0 comments
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Friday, January 30, 2004

yawn yawn.
work has been ok, normal.
its good that we get to rotate and do diff stuff at diff times lor.
imagine sitting at the counter for the entire day.....
tink i realli cant do counters for long.
i start to lose conc, and i even wrote 2002 instead of 2004.....
sianz diaoz.

realli, sumtimes the member sit in front and ramble on and my mind juz switches off.
i dun realli have anithing particular in mind that i was tinkin abt,
but well, juz sub-consciously flew sumwhere else~
aniwaz, tink fate is realli a farni thing.
apparently, me and hw are prayin that sumone dun appear at #3 la.
whahah, but i tink from wat i see, prob will only get the chance when we go up to call centre,
which is like once in a blue moon.......
oh well, that gives me another reason to detest call centres.......

sat tml.
whaha, in the mood for shopping. =X [the bad thing, or maybe good thing is, payday tml!!!!!]


Queen Tona @ 9:41 PM 0 comments
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Tuesday, January 27, 2004

LAYER 0NE:
-- Name: JiAhUi
-- Birth date: 28th may~
-- Birthplace: Singapore
-- Current Location: sumwhere near the equator
-- Eye Color: black and white?
-- Hair Color: hmmm teddy-bear brown whahahha
-- Height: taller den a dwarf shorter den a giraffe~
-- Righty or Lefty: Rightie!
-- Zodiac Sign: GEmiNi

LAYER TWO:
-- Favourite Colour: pink!
-- Your weakness: *scratch head* haha u really want me to list all?!?!?!
-- Your fears: all the insects!!!!!!
-- Your perfect pizza: let's see, muz have tons of cheese, mushroom, chicken, pineapple plus a lota tomato sauces aso. *yummie*

LAYER THREE:
-- Wad's Your eMail: haha i used to have a lot but all seem to be non-existent since flooding occured.....
-- Wad's ur FavouRite house chores?: cooking~
-- Your most missed memory: let's see, i do miss sec sch life plus jc life~ whaha whoops does that mean everything?

LAYER FOUR:
-- In love?: yea~ in love with my tony!!!!! my you yayu!!!!!! k let's juz sae i am not sure if i am in love....... or rather i dun wish to noe whahha
-- AnythinG to talk Abt LovE?: love is juz this troublesome thing which complicates everything and yet at the same time, beautifies it........

LAYER FIVE:
-- Smoke: I HATE SMOKE AND I DETEST SMOKE AND WE SLD BOYCOTT SMOKING~
-- Curse: whahha, often but to myself la..... u want me to curse at the CPF members meh.....
-- Sing: i sing quite often whahah in the shower~
-- Take a shower everyday: of coz!!!!!!!
-- Have a crush: *heex* *hee hee*
-- Do you think you've been in love: now?
-- Believe in yourself: of coz! i believe i can fly~ whahah =P
-- Sick: no no, perfectly fine~
-- Think you're attractive : of coz~ whahha, k dun be so bhb but well, everyone has got attractive pts so well....... k la k la, no la.
-- Think you are a health freak?: def not whahha
-- Get along with your parent(s): yep yep
-- Get Along with youR gRandPareNts?: still ok la.
-- What is ur cca in Skool?: i not in sch now...... sob sob

LAYER SIX: In the past month...
-- drank alcohol: yep.
-- Smoked: NO NO NO NO NO X infinity
-- Done a drug: NO
-- Had Sex: No pre-marital sex pls... [ whahha ]
-- In a Relatioship: nope nope
-- Gone on a date: hmmm can sae that.
-- Gone to the mall?: Yes...lotsa malls...
-- gonE overSeaS?: in my dreams~
-- Eaten sushi: yesh yesh. yummie!!!!!!!
-- Been on stage: nope
-- Been dumped: haha who dares to dump me!!!! hello!!!!
-- Gone skating: No

LAYER SEVEN:
Ever...
-- sEcretly like a person??: Yeah
-- hOw loNg u BeeN waIting for him/her??: time is not an issue........
-- been caught "doing something": Huh?
-- dUmp or reject someone?: hmmmmm
-- bEing asKed by thE samE perSon t0 bE with him/her: as in?
-- Shoplifted: i so guai!!!!
-- Changed who you were to fit in: wat for?

LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age you hope to be married: 27
-- Numbers and Names of Children: haha two? me want one gal and one boy~. heex, i love kids!!! so cute!!!!whahah but cannot have too much la, so ex.
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: whahah, muz be v romantic one, hopefully by the beach, wah with the sea breeze, den everyone wear nice nice. whahha den me and my husband can watch the sunset and sunrise together~~~~ AHHHHHHHHHHH
-- How do you want to die: Naturally lah...
-- Is your heart still hurt??: weird question.......

LAYER NINE:
In the opposite sex
-- Best eye color?: whaha can i sae pink? no no, normal colour la
-- Best hair color?: anithing is fine
-- Short or long hair: depends lor
-- Height: not too short la
-- Best weight: normal
-- Best articles of clothing: see wat occasion wat
-- Best first date location: hmmmmm go beach, and talk talk talk and watch sunset.
-- Best first kiss location: aiyo, no need to plan for this, well come naturally whahha.

LAYER TEN:
-- No. of drugs taken illegaly: NONE
-- No. of people I could trust with my life: not many
-- No. of CDs that I owned: dun really noe the no
-- No. of tattoos: Pls. None of those. so painful!!!!!!
-- No. of scars on my body: whaha me got scar on my forehead, apparently i juz literally bang into the wall when i was young....... whaha cute me
-- No. of things in my past that I rEgRet : let's juz sae there are too many to be mention

yawn. juz plain bored. guess u can see from my willingness to do this whahha.

aniwaz, westside story yest was totally touchin........ me cried when the yayu told yuli that he dun like her den after that chase after her and sae he was lying....... omg, my heart juz melted when i heard him sae that.... he is juz so so so so so shuai and nice and omg...... i wanna take that woman;s place..... wah den he can hug me...... AHHHHHHHHHHhh. omg, if only he can be my bf....... for the day i aso dun mind. heex.

aniwaz, on a heavier note, poor zr seems to have to re-course. poor thing la, sayang sayang.... tink if i am him, me will be so depressed......



Queen Tona @ 8:20 PM 0 comments
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Sunday, January 25, 2004

sick. i mean literally...... i am down with a major flu and i am sneezin at 100 sneeze/hr.....
=\ sianz. juz feel so tired.......... mentally, physically.....
prob, prob am juz too glad that the guys are back in tekong.....

*hai* juz read zr's blog. the thing abt the vday, i mean, i din mean to hide it from u all or wat.
but well, i guess i juz din see the need for anyone from the 38 club to noe bah.
i mean, oh well, i did tell the cos gals. but i din wan u guys to noe coz i thot prob yz din want any of them to noe either. =\
seriously speakin, at that moment when i saw him at the gate, i was really touched, and i noe that if he really did pop that question that nite, i wld have agreed.
i mean, yes, it wld have been v mean of me to do so since i dun really feel anything , but being weak me, juz simple stuff like those can make my heart melt.......

me and yz.... i wld really hope that i can even feel anything when i am with him, i mean, i dun need the "i am fallin head over heels with u" feeling, i juz need to be comfortable. to feel at ease. but seriously, i juz dun. i mean, its to such an extent that i dun even feel like going out alone with him. its juz too awkward. i mean, no there is absolutely nothing wrong with him....... in fact, he will make a real sweet and loving bf i tink..... hah. prob, prob thats y he shudden deserve sumone like me bah. i really tink that i am not a good gf at all, when i feel as if i have given my best and everything, i find ppl tellin me that they find it tiriing to be with me.......

sigh sigh sigh. let's juz see how things go........


Queen Tona @ 8:58 PM 0 comments
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Saturday, January 24, 2004

heex. juz got back home from outin with my dear frenZ~
coz had SAT in the morning, so only met up with them late afternoon.
den played pool and basically eat and talk all the way.
its a wonderful feeling lor, juz sittin down, talkin, catchin up and juz feelin the time goes by.
prob, prob have finally come to realise the friendships matter most.
i do admit that in the past, really neva place too much focus on frenz.
but now, have finally come to realise that relationships dun last, friendships do.
its like although quite long neva meet but we still can talk and lauff like the old times~
realli felt great catchin up with them, esp the army guys or rather men. =X

and of coz, took mrt home with zr. [whahah and he neva fails to put attention on me......]
yep yep, wats there to talk abt rite me? i aso duno. prob i juz refuse to noe.
tink he said sumthing that sets me thinking.
y was i so willing to like talk to hc, to like play ps with him etc when if it was yz, i wld def have not done that. wat can i sae?
seriously, all the wae i was denyin no no no blah blah blah, but actually if u ask me y did i do it that day,
i aso cant ans myself. actions speak louder den words, and sumhow my actions .... ya i can sae oh well, everyone tellin me to sit there etc, but well, its true only to a certain extent, i mean if i dun wanan talk at all, i wun even make a single ounce of effort. i wun like even try to initiate anything bah.
so have i fallen for hc like wat hw and zr thinks? i duno bah.
i cant sae i have the in love feeling, but i juz noe its a comfortable feeling to be with him although we are not that close at all, its like i juz feel safe and secure bah. *shrugs* as for anything deeper, i duno. i guess i sld juz stop at this level bah. there are juz too much things to consider if i really wanan take things any further and i juz dun wish to complicate things.

as for yz, i aso duno, feelings can be developeD? i mean, yes he is a nice guy and given his character and all, for him to do stuff to that extent, i realli v touched. but thats beside the pt, i mean, u will noe when there;s juz no chemistry and wat so eva. i noe its mean not to reply, its mean to play ignorant, but i dun wanna have to sae things out in the open, to put it so clearly that oh u noe, i juz dun feel a thing. its a totally awful feeling to have sumone sae that rite in ur face and i noe it. and besides, prob there isnt anything to be said at all. prob i sld juz let time do the job. and we shall juz stay as frens. i dun wanan have any awkward situations when we have any outings in future, i rather treat as if i dun get any hint and everything is juz like normal.

relationships. y isit that everytime u really like sumone, u can neva be with him. but yet, there are others whom are really nice and yet u dun feel a single thing. y cant we juz spare each other the tears and pain and juz have a tag or sumthing to show that A and B sld actually get married and live happily after. so all we have to do is juz go in search for that tag. spare the pain, save the trouble. its sad to see two frens drift apart after a break-up...... prob, prob thats y i am juz holding back, and avoidin everything. y complicate things? y allow any chance for any changes to happen?

yes yes, u can sae i am juz plain afraid, afraid of gettin hurt all over again. afraid of havin to spend countless nites cryin myself to sleep ..... and at this rate i'll prob remain single all my life...... vday coming. its a sickening feeling when u start to see frens around u go datin on that day and urself juz stuck at home with no one to go out with. no no, i am not mopin or wat. but well, its nice once in a while to noe that u are special to that sumone...... oh well, at least i once was.


Queen Tona @ 10:51 PM 0 comments
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Saturday, January 17, 2004

yawn yawn. today finally is a half day~ yippee and me finally had time to do my cny shopping.
seriously, tink i dun feel any cny mood at all this year lor, prob coz of work. sianz.
aniwaz, got my first bit of the pay, only for 3days la. coz the dec days mah. not bad la 100 plus. heex realise that the 5.70/hr is after cpf deductn already but u noe wat?
the real pay that cpf gave is 12/hr lor. k la, thats reasonable when u have to get scolded for stupid and no apparent reasons daily. but wah liew, wonder wat happen along the process,
the freaking agency muz have ate up most of it...... sianz.
imagine if i get 12/hr...... omg, i really can faint le!!!!!
thats like 100 per day? =\ sian diaoz.

aniwaz, "business" was bad today, not that i am complainin. but early mornin got scoled by sum weird ppl le, haha tink i am gettin immune. they scold, i smile. whahah i find myself being amused by them lor, coz i start to realise that they like to scold the same things. whahha, if they themselves cant read instructions clearly, they start to blame abt how ur form is v confusin blah blah blah. sianz

whahha, but today quite happy aso coz i saw quite a few babies~~~heex.
seriously, everytime i see them arh, wah my heart juz melt man.
AWWWWWWWWWWWW so cute!!!!!!!
whahha, so pray hard that mon will have more babies and less cave-mens.~ yippee
and guess wat, i am juz so happy coz there is no work tml which means no need to be scolded~


Queen Tona @ 8:45 PM 0 comments
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Monday, January 12, 2004

hmmm i am so sorry that entries nowadays have to turn into a complain session but who cares.
i tink all those ppl who juz love comin to cpf board sld juz take a look at my blog man.

today was totally a pissed off day. 9 outa 10 ppl ask u the same thing.
"where is my money? i thot u sae XX days."
seriously, everytime i hear this kinda question i wanna give them a punch on their face.
was at the counter a while. this man came, sae he is in urgent need for money blah blah blah all that cny need $$ crap.
so i sae fine, i try my best. when i ask for his IC, he open his wallet.
wah liew, got so many 50 bucks and 10bucks lor. juz wanna slap him in the face and declare to him that i seem to be the one who is more urgent need for money la.

tink today was in a totally pissed off mood.
this woman came along and insist that she gets her cheque nex week when the letter wrote 3 weeks.
i even pointed it out to her but she insist that oh if after cny wats the use? we will be happily celebratin cny and she will be sufferin la blah blah blah. and seriously, she dun look poor at all.
so i said damn loudly "cheque needs 3 weeks" several times and den she still stand there and ramble on and on abt the system and how she needs it in one week or she dun even want it at all. wah liew, really wanna give her two tight slaps and ban her from the ERS shares and god noes what shares in future la.
i was totally giving her the black face lor, i mean, i dun give a damn la. i already repeat so many times 3 weeks and here u are saein u want it in 1 week time. u either accept the fact or dun make me feel like a fool repeatin such a simple sentence hunderes of times. these ppl really tink they are the only ones in need for money lor. ARGH. stupid woman. aHHHHHHHHHH, tink anymore of such ppl and i can die.

sum ppl arh, they obviously signed the form coz it was recorded in the com and they can still shout and yell and scream and insist that they neva did. ha, wat they tink? we so free, anyhow go and enter and sae that they submit the form? sum go atm, obviously is they ownself press wrongly and den they can still come and sae they enva did when the receipt printed that they obviously had done so.

seriously la, tink ppl can resort to all kinds of stupid and senseless means juz to get things they want. letter wrote within 15 working days which dun include sat and sun and pub hols and this stupid man tried to act educated and ask me " oh, so who invented the word working days u tell me? " wah liew, i realli wanted to bang that person;s head against the wall la. ask me this kinda questions. AHHHHHHH

sianz. juz in a totally sianz diaoz mood. tml any one come up to me and make stupid requests, i cant gurantee that i wun eat them up.


Queen Tona @ 8:49 PM 0 comments
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Sunday, January 11, 2004

yawn yawn. its finally a day when i can wake up late~~~ yippee...
aniwaz, ended work early yest, den zr msged to ask if i wanna eat dinner.
so i was askin, hmmm who going. den he said only we 2, so i was like ok......

but well, stupid zr was late for half an hour [ whahah, seriously if not for my work these few days, i wld have walked off!!! ] but k la, not his fault is his officer's fault!!!! whahah =X
aniwaz, apparently yz aso came along.
i juz felt totally weird la. i mean, u dun go out with sumone whom u neva replied sms-es or fone calls to,
esp when he has asked repeated-ly.... and me juz act as if i din receive the sms-es....
hai. duno la, duno wats going in my head. =\ noe its really quite mean of me, but i really dun feel an ounce of willing-ness etc to catch a movie with him.
and i dun wanan sae no rite in his face, so well, juz like wat hw says, juz treat as if i din receive.

aiyarz, aniwaz, no matter wat, yest outin was totally awkward la. sian diaoz.
duno y am i diggin my own grave la. stupid me
sianz, i juz hate to handle relationships with human beings......
prob sld have juz stayed at home yest man.

aniwaz, yest saw hs with her new bf i tink, she was tellin me abt how mr tay had left the dance society, now taken over by this rv teacher. heck la. but well, poor mr tay though. he is really quite a cute teacher.
aniwaz, come to tink of it, its weird how sum ppl can change partners so fast that i cant even keep track.
its like last mth she was with X, den today she is with Y, who knows man, tml she may be with Z.
i am juz so curious as to whether is it love or juz plain infatuation. and how do u even manage to cope? juz last mth u were saein i love u to X and den today you are lookin into other person;s eyes and promising to lead a new life togther blah blah blah. total bullshit la.

sianz. later maybe will go out to bid farewell to jl coz he going army soon. but well, that will have to depends on my mood..... sianz. seriously all i feel like doing now is juz to lie on my bed and sleep. be a loner, because when i start to want to handle my feelings and relationships with others, i find myself at a lost, i find that i cant cope at all.


Queen Tona @ 10:59 AM 0 comments
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Friday, January 09, 2004

its not that i dun wanna reply ur msg/fone calls.
its juz that i duno how to put across certain ideas.....
its juz that i dun wanna complicate things.
sorry [doubt u will see this though....]

stupid me.


Queen Tona @ 9:08 PM 0 comments
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Thursday, January 08, 2004

heex. today was sorta the first day that i spent almost the entire day at the call centre at the cpf board.
kewl, juz the thot of not havin to put on a plastic smile makes me feel so relieved!!!!
but i neva knew ans-ing calls were gonna be that hard too.

pls la, there are sum unreasonable ppl who juz scold even b4 i had the chance to greet good morning,
there are others who appeared calm and cool, den sumwhere in the conversation, they go beserk once they know that they cant get wat they want and they start complainin abt the cpf board, the system, the govt and even the entire world.
den there is one which realli pissed me off.
i explained everything nicely to her around three times all rite, den towards the end she still dun understand den i was headin on to my fourth repetition when she sae she dun wanna hear me bull-shittin and sae she wana complain to the press if she go the bank now and she still cant get any money and she bloody hell hung up on me without even a bye lor. wah liew, damn fucked up attitude she has la. fine la, she can juz go to the press and sae my name for all i care, i dun mind being famous. realli lor, i realli realli wanted to juz scold her back if not for my salary man.
so bitchy lor. STUPID WOMAN, let me catch her on the streets i will make sure she sae sorrie to me!! stupid woman la, argh! i seriously hope that even if she gets the money, her money will drop into the drain la, get washed in the washin machine la, and prob sumhow or rather get transferred as donations man. this kinda ppl dun even deserve a single cent.

yawn yawn, wonder where will i be tml, wonder who wld i meet tml...... whahha aniwaz, anyone wanan call me for a chit-chat? can try callin ers hotline!!!! the line is really very HOT now..... =P


Queen Tona @ 8:25 PM 0 comments
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Wednesday, January 07, 2004

lala. finally back here at my computer table once again~
yippee.work was all rite though got screamed rite in the face by a few ppl.
u tell them 3 weeks get money it seemed as if i said 3 life time......
yet there are others who are so nice it makes my heart melt!!!
they even wanna treat me to coffee!!!! ahhhhhh so touched!
but tink this yr the policy really damn BAD.
they made all the poor elderly come all the way down lor,
den they hafta queue up and today sumone even fainted......
i feel so sad for them seriously but den cant do much........ =
hai. seriously i tink human beings are weird creatures...... or prob, its juz me.
when u can get the things easily, u neva grow to like and appreciate it.
u go for stuff that u cannot get.
u stare at doors that are shut when u noe so well that the one juz beside is wide open.
juz like all the ppl la, govt give them money den they still wanna grumble abt how long it takes.
esp when u noe there is no wae u can get the money now, u still die die aso wanna force us to give the money now....... sianz
humans....... whahha, k la cant sae bad stuff abt others coz i myself is aso lidat.....
been ignoring certain msgs....... even hw sae i sld juz treat it as i din receive it.
on the other hand, been waitin for other msgs...... its weird how i get all excited wheneva i receive a msg.
and when i realise its not him, i get all sianz diaoz.

i duno wat happen. prob i did sumthing wrong? and prob its juz me worryin too much. but hai...... juz having to tink of wat cld have went wrong makes me so tired....


Queen Tona @ 8:50 PM 0 comments
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Tuesday, January 06, 2004

yawn. feelin quite shagged, prob coz of shortage of sleep.....

anyway, work is gettin more and more BORING.
and there was this man today, he was cursing and swearin at everyone in the PAP, LKY etc.
and i swear that in every of his sentence, u can find all diff kind of vulgarities,
and there he was ramblin abt the failure of PAP and cursin the death of everyone "involved"
and i was tinkin, since he detest the govt so much,
den y even bother to take their money......
totally turn off all rite? i mean, one or two vulgarities, i still can take it.
u come up to ,e and sprout out a string of those and still wana act educated and high and mighty,
omg, totally TURNED ME OFF.
felt a sudden urge to puke........
wonder wat weird ppl i will meet again tml......
and i pray pray pray that lunch will not be chicken rice/fried rice again man.
i have enuff of those!!!!


Queen Tona @ 8:48 PM 0 comments
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Monday, January 05, 2004

hmmmm, yet another day spent at work....
whahah, seriously tink work has changed me quite a lot.....
firstly, me seemed to have grown older by the days,
more naggy, talk v slowly etc etc......

summore, tink i have mastered the art of being hypocritical......
sumtimes i have that urge to give that person i am servin two tight slaps lor,
but yet i find myself grinnin back at him/her..... ARGH
sum ppl seriously ought to be shot la,
u come here and shout and scream and sae u want ur money now,
i mean HELLO?!?!??! EVERYONE WANTS THEIR MONEY NOW!!!
and den they complain abt everything under the sun, ask them to Q up like ask them to take poison lidat.
this stupid man yelled so loudly the entire level cld hear him......
u want call the police den go la. no need to scream for all to hear........
stand a while will die meh? i mean, if u are old and abt to collaspe, fine la.
i serve u i dun mind, u can dun Q up la, but if u are so bloody fit den pls go and stand la. E@!$@#$(@#%
sumtimes early in the mornin i report to work, juz feel so sianz.......
prob call center is ezier coz they cant see my face at all, i can swear and curse for all i want

sigh. today juz feel so sian diaoz.
its prob partially coz of my mood, sumtimes i hear the person talk abt his/her "problem", den suddenly i find myself totally switchin off all rite? .........
prob sum things are beta left unsaid and un-done.
prob sld juz treat as if i dun feel/see/understand a thing.
save the trouble, save the pain.
most imptly, save the friendship


Queen Tona @ 8:55 PM 0 comments
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Sunday, January 04, 2004

hmmmmm, this is gonna be yet another long entry,
esp when my mind is in such a confused state...

yest was hc's plus jl's bday.
wenta hc's house to sorta celebrate.
it was quite fun, hc talk quite a lot [ considering he seldom open his mouth ]
as for me? me juz talk to him, and played ps2 with him and the kids la.
as usual, he sent me home yet again...
whaha, actually witness 2 accidents along the wae lor, so scary.....

aniwaz, everyone was tellin me how happy hc was once i came...
i duno, duno whether to even believe them or not la
but i can see that he keep smiling and laughing yest... esp when i din noe much abt the ps2... =but yet i won in the bball game whahah!!!!!
and today, everyone was tellin me oh they can see the hc likes me etc, etc.
and how his mum aso tinks very well of me etc.....

even hw told me that today..... and she even ask me if i aso like hc........
me? i duno... wat does it means when i juz feel comfortable with him? [despite only been out with him a few times ] when i juz feel happy when i see him smile? when i juz keep blushin when ppl tease abt us? when i wait eagerly at the fone for reply of sms-es? when i can spend hours juz to design one birthday carD? when i find myself lookin out for him? when i find myself grinin when i tink back on certain stuff? if that means i have developed a crush, i duno wat to tink. becoz, he is juz so different from my ideal prince charming.........

hai. let;s juz hope it is juz me being mad.
if not, its really a confusin + troublesome wae to start a year......


Queen Tona @ 9:51 PM 0 comments
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Friday, January 02, 2004

whahha, work today was as usual....... HECTIC
but it was quite weird to see jc ppl walkin to sch this morning......
whahha, suddenly feel like going back to njc to crap with my frens....... boo hoo hoo.....

sianz...... sumtimes i feel i am juz so contradictin myself.....
its like i feel like doing sumthing, but when it comes to the right opportunity, i dun.
den when i dun feel like doing sumthing, i can neva sae it rite straight into that person;s face.
i juz avoid in it a subtle way.
juz take how i reply to sms-es for eg.......
i sld have juz replied straight that i DUN WANNA GO.
its not that i am tired after work etc becoz i do go out after that, its juz........ i dun wanna go.
but when i reply? i go the roundabt way, i come up with stupid excuses.
tired legs, long day, already have outings etc........
sianz. prob for the new year, i shant be so hmmmmmmmm, i aso duno how to describe.
wahhahah, so the next time i tell u sumthing straight in the face, dun be shocked.


Queen Tona @ 9:25 PM 0 comments
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Thursday, January 01, 2004

lala!! my first entry of the year~~~
woo hoo!!!!
=P

aniwaz, work yest was hectic hectic hectic, talk so much that by the end of work i dun even feel like opening my mouth...... =\
army guys are out! whhaha, but din join them for outin la, coz wenta fo tang to join them b4 going 4 countdown,
whahahm aniwaz, xiaoyanjie said sumthing which whahha, make me feel quite honoured!~
heex. shant reveal the details =P *SHHHhhhhhhhhhh*

am so glad that there is no work today......
later goin shoppin for prezzieS~~~~ lalala.
k, hope my feet dun give way later~

aniwaz, hi 2004!!!! hope it will be a great year ahead.
whahah, who noes, i may even meet my prince charming and get married... =P whahaha [jk la]


Queen Tona @ 11:19 AM 0 comments
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