yawn. yes. i am back. heex.
i really havent been bloggin much, which i juz realised.
hmm, wonderin if anyone even bothers and cares though, but well,
heex, muz sae sorry to my blog for being so lonely and abandoned.
so, y din i blog?
lots of things happen. but well, maybe nothing happended at all.
prob the most significant thing was losing my hp.
yes, it means wastin money etc, but no, thats not wat struck me most.
all my msgs...... all my pics..... all the stuff in my =) folder is gone......
it prob help to clear up my doubts abt sum stuff.
wat i thot of when i lost my fone, who i thot of when i was fone-less and who i msged almost immediately when i got back my fone........ sianz.
juz realised that i had been quite a loner for this blog-less period. juz settin time aside for myself.
not that i even care. gettin sianz of dealing with relationships with others. esp after work, i juz dun even feel like talkin anymore. yep, prob being anti-social but its not that i am deliberately being one.
i mean, y even bother to sae much when i noe i prob cannot really sae wat i wanna sae wat. when i sae its ok i dun mind, prob nothing matters as much to me as that. when i sae have fun datin, prob nothing hurts me more den seeing u with sumone else. when i sae juz kidding, prob wat i juz said was nothing but the truth. y isit that i dun even sae what i want to sae? prob, prob because i noe that its juz gonna complicate things. "just kiddin la" its a easy thing to sae esp to escape from the responsibility u noe u have to bear when u utter a certain phrase.. sianz. wat rubbish am i utterin here? i aso duno.
if given a chance, i will look u in the eye and tell u how much u meant to me, and den brain-wash u the next moment, because at least, i can freeze the present moment and keep it close to my heart.
Queen Tona @ 11:09 AM
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Wednesday, February 04, 2004
lala~ today was a rather happy day coz i saw sum real sweet stuff.
k firstly, there was this quite old couple....... v sweet coz they were holdin hands etc
den when i was servin them at the counter, although the husband was like "complainin" abt how slow his wife walks etc, i can seriously tell that he does care a lot for her..... so sweet....... my heart juz melted lor.
*sigh* this will be times when i start to wonder if there will aso be sumone to love me and care for me that much when i reach that age..... tink its a real nice thought to have sumone rite beside u so many years.....
wah, imagine all the diff stuff that u two have been thru together. prob thats what they meant by true love.
seriously, me felt so warmed up when i saw the couple, cant help but smile.
heex, this will be the times when i juz wanna grab any man and get married. whahah oh well, at least for that min thats wat i was tinking........
oh den there was this couple with their baby, den after finish, the baby kept givin me good-bye kiss. AIYOYO, i really really will faint when i see kids do such sweet and cute stuff to me, i will really melt there lor. i cant help but grin, wanted to carry that baby home with me man........ aiyo......... omg....... i felt so AHHHHHHHH. really, if u want me to agree to anything, juz get one cute child to do sum sweet and cute things to me man, i will faint on the spot!!! =P
was tellin hw abt wat zr told me last nite. oh well, not that i am literally re-joicing.... but well... at least juz feel more settled inside. whaha and both of us were praying that we wun go up call-centre. not that i care, oh well, so what if i will see sum ppl. i still miss the rest!!!!! =\ k la, so i dun really mind, but well i do mind. k crapz. cant wait for fri~ can go out! yippee!~
Queen Tona @ 9:18 PM
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Tuesday, February 03, 2004
yippee! no angry members today, or rather, prob my definition of angry members have changed as the days go by becoz u juz see so many that u have to raise those standards higher.
aniwaz, really feelin quite sianz of this job, hope they will let us go soon.
i mean gd thing is i dun hafta feel like a fool and absorb all those senseless rantings.
bad thing is i will have no money!! omg, who is going to yang3 me?!?!?
whahah, so unless i find sumone to do that, prob its best to stick to this boring job.
heex, aniwaz, today kept tinkin of my dearez you yayu. han wei even called me mrs you [ or rather misses you whahhaa] heex. not that i mind. yest show was juz so sweet, the two look so innocent and cute when they go on their first date...... AHHHHHHH. and the yayu is juz so cute!!!!! omg........ y he cannot have twin bro who live in singapore....... =( i hope the show ends soon coz i tink i am currently in the craze, the you yayu craze....... hee. really lor..... whahha not only tink of yayu la...... when i tink of him today, me aso juz feel so warm inside........ cant help but grin.... =P i am not tellin who!!!! i tink i am fallin in love...... lalala~
oh and poor zr seems to hafta sleep alone in the huge room today coz his mates all gone to field camp..... poor thing, hope he wun feel too lonely and scared.... whahah if its me, i will juz cry lor. =\ prob that explains y gals no need to go to army. whahha, esp gals like me.
Queen Tona @ 9:20 PM
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Monday, February 02, 2004
yeppie yea~
am gettin ready for my westside story.....equip myself with pillows and of coz tissueS!!!! =X
aniwaz, today was basically slackin at home. not in the mood to go out le......
gettin quite sianz and quite tired....... yawn. its back to work tml
and all i can look forward to is...... SATURDAY!!! whahaha
k, k my dear yayu........ is appearing soon!!!!!!!
Queen Tona @ 9:15 PM
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lala. i am so happy today coz its a holiday~
whahah.
aniwaz, yest wenta watch last samurai with xiao yanjie, jerry and junliang.
thot the show was quite nice even though i am not sumone who likes these kinda violent shows.
i mean, the samurais are really damn brave and all.... wah. really admire their courage.
the show was quite touchin aso la. heex.
oh oh and tonight got my westside story. omg, i am so yearnin to see my dear yayu...... muack muack muack!!!!!
k k enuff of being mad. whahha, as can be seen, me is back to the crazy me!
=P
Queen Tona @ 12:29 PM
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Sunday, February 01, 2004
wenta fotang today.
actually, my mood was damn lousy.
but well juz went along with the cny celebrations etc......
y did i even choose to leave? y did i even want to avoid the entire thing?
yes, zr was wrong to have plan everything.
but y? y did i even had that thot to leave?
it was a perfect chance to make things clear but wat was i afraid of?
wats wrong with stayin?
y not juz face the damn thing once and for all.
yes, prob sumone will end up hurt in the end, but isnt it inavoidable?
duno la. juz feel as if my decision juz made everything so worst.
noe zr isnt feeling all that great and seriously i do care abt how he feels abt this whole thingy.
coz he is not to blame at all....... its me and my stupid fear of facin everything.
i realli dun want this to cause any changes in our relationship.
perhaps, perhaps i sld really muster my courage and get the thing settled once and for all......
and prob i sld juz be selfish and tink of juz myself this time, and dun give a damn abt how others will feel.
sianz.....
zr: i am realy not angry le. if this stupid misunderstanding is enuff to even cause any change in our relationship, den perhaps i will juz feel so disappointed. i really do cherish our friendship and prob my way of dealin with the thing yest was rather extreme...... *sigh* i really wish things can get back to normal. and u dun even have to ask for my forgiveness becoz i wasn;t really pissed with u in the first place, it was me and my character that i was pissed with.
Queen Tona @ 11:20 PM
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morning~ din sleep much.
actually really startin to feel bad.
tink wat i did yest was un-called for.
duno wats wrong with me aso.
i am really sorry..... it wasnt ur fault.
there is no need to feel disappointed or guilty..... really.
lets juz sae i wasnt in the rite mood for those and u juz did it at a wrong time....
Queen Tona @ 8:01 AM
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